Little Purple Book
by RosesAreRed14
Summary: Andrea "Andy" Thompson is a bottler, burying the past behind books. When a little purple novel takes her and her friend into Naruto, she buries that too, focusing on survival and a way home. She doesn't count on falling for a certain porn reading ninja or the dangers their love can bring both to herself and her heart. KakaxOC, YamatoxOC?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

For purposes of this story, some characters that have died in the series are still alive. Partially because I'm in denial. :)

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Chapter One:

"Andy! Wait up."

I paused mid-step, glancing over my shoulder at the voice. A reluctant smile curled the corners of my mouth as my best friend, Emily Song, came panting into view.

Even red faced and clearly winded, she still managed to look as if she'd stepped off the runway. Long white blonde hair streamed around her shoulders, pink eyes sparkled with something humorous she was no doubt dying to tell me. Our school's uniform fit her like a second skin, the black sweater hugging her hourglass figure and the black and white plaid skirt making her legs look a mile long.

I, on the other hand, was sure I looked like I was drowning in fabric.

And was perfectly happy that way.

With her quick pace, Emily came to skidding halt in front of me, hands going to her knees as she fought for breath.

"Did you run everywhere looking for me again?"

Emily's bright eyes snapped up to mine, a blinding smile making me blink. "Yup!"

"And you didn't think I was heading to the bookstore?"

"Ehe." She giggled, scratching the back of her head. "I only thought of it a few minutes ago."

I suppressed a sigh. She was a great friend, but the girl had the memory of a goldfish. I'd told her last period where I was going afterschool and she'd still forgotten.

"Emily, we need to work on your memory."

"I try!" she defended herself, cheeks puffing out.

"I know you do." I resumed walking, adding, "That's what's scary."

"Andy, don't be mean. I have something awesome to tell you!"

"Sorry, Em," I mumbled, playing with strand of my dark brown hair. "What's this awesome thing?"

An eruption of giggles from the being on my left had me eyeing her uneasily. Whenever she was in this kind of mood, it meant trouble for me.

"What is it?"

"I heard from Sarah in class 3-1 that Jeremy in class 3-4 likes you," she squealed. I stiffened as the loud sound pierced my eardrum. Boys and I did not mix. Sure, I could find them hot, but I wasn't going anywhere near one. Not after what happened with _him_.

"So, so! Do you like him back?"

Like I even knew who Jeremy was. Two seconds ago, I didn't know there was a Jeremy in our grade. I cleared my throat, irritation tickling the back of my neck. We had this conversation more often than I wanted to admit. It had to be the memory thing. Leveling her a stony expression, I said, "You know my opinion on boyfriends."

Emily glanced at her feet before hesitantly responding, "I just want to see you happy, Andy. It's not healthy to avoid boys like you do."

Taking in her contrite appearance, I sighed. Em did mean well. She wanted to help, just like I help her. Unfortunately, this was something I needed to work through on my own. That desire, though, was what made her such an amazing friend. It was also why we spent so much time together.

We walked for several silent moments to the entrance of our school before I couldn't take it anymore. "Do you want to come to the bookstore with me?"

Instantly, she brightened. "Are you picking up another order?"

I nodded, going over the list of novels I'd ordered from the local indie bookshop. I didn't know which one I wanted to read first—the swashbuckling adventure by Kitty Katlynn or the latest volume of Naruto.

A hand appeared before my face, "Earth to Andrea!"

I rolled my eyes at Emily's smirking face. She always found it funny I got lost in books like I did.

"Are you coming or not?" I grunted.

My friend giggled before falling into step beside me. It only took two heartbeats before she launched into a story from the lunchroom. Apparently, some first years thought it would be a good idea to challenge the second year queen bee. As expected, chaos had erupted in the form of pulled extensions and chipped manicures.

Where was I during this? In the peaceful setting of the school's library.

Thank God. I don't think I could have taken it if I'd been there. It only served to remind me how happy I was about graduating this year.

By the time we reached Margie's Book Stop, Emily had miraculously talked herself out. I pulled open the door, enjoying the soft tinkling of the bell overheard. It was like signaling I'd come home.

Margie's Book Stop was a sight to behold to any bibliomaniac. Floor to ceiling books shoved into every nook and cranny. More like a canvas filled with colorful covers and inventive titles, painted for my own personal pleasure. As the door swung shut behind me, I was engulfed in the familiar smell of old paper and ink, with an undercurrent of peppermint from the owner's constant supply of tea.

I'd barely begun shifting through titles when a short, plump woman with a blue smock appeared from the back room behind the counter.

"Margie," I greeted with a smile.

"Andrea, Emily, welcome!"

Behind me, Emily waved to the graying, older woman over my shoulder.

"I've come to pick up my order."

Margie's eyes sparked with excitement. "Ah yes! It just came in this morning. I also received a first edition of Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, if you're interested."

The idea of owning a first edition anything sent a thrill through me. I was so deep in thought, I lost track of Emily. And that was never a good thing. While I loved books, they never meshed well with my friend. She'd get bored and a bored Emily caused an endless amount of trouble.

Hence the automatic groan that escaped when I heard a loud crash from the back of the store and no blonde in sight.

Margie shot me a pained smile before investigating the damage. I waited by the case housing rare books. Glancing over titles I could never dream of affording, one in particular caught my eye. It was deep purple linen bound volume. The gold lettering had faded with time but I could still make out part of the title: Into the … Universe. Curiosity pulsed through me, making my fingers tingle. I wanted—no, _had—_to touch that book. To find out what the rest of the title was.

A clearing of a throat snapped my head up. Margie had returned with a shamed faced Emily following in her wake. I sighed, "What's the damage?"

The older woman huffed slightly, "Not nearly as bad as last time. It will only take me three hours to restock instead of seven."

"I'm sorry, Margie," the blonde murmured.

"I know, dear. Just thank Andrea's continued patronage as the reason why I don't toss you out on your ear each time you enter."

I hide my amusement at Emily's put out expression behind my hand.

As Margie returned behind the desk, I couldn't resist the temptation.

"I know I could never afford it in a million years," I said, "but could I please have a look at that purple book?" I pointed at the one I wanted to see. Margie followed my hand, something I'd never seen, nor could I name, flickering in the dark depths of her gaze. She seemed to hesitate a moment before nodding. I didn't blame her. As much as I loved books and this shop, I was still a teen and the book was expensive.

"Sure."

Margie put on cotton gloves for careful handling and unlocked the glass door. Placing the antique novel on a velvet covered tray, she left me with a pair of gloves, saying she was going to fetch my order. I nodded absently, already mesmerized by what was in front of me.

Behind me, I heard Emily whisper with odd reverence. "It's so pretty."

I nodded, carefully wrapping the glove around the hardcover to flick it open to the title page. What I saw made me gasp. There in big letters was not something I would expect a book this old to have in the title.

"Into the Naruto Universe," I whispered.

Just as I said it, a soft glow started to emit from the book.

"What," Emily muttered. She reached out to touch to book. Not only did I not want her finger oils on the ancient pages, I didn't want her anywhere near a freakin' glowing book.

"Wait!"

It was too late. I grabbed her wrist just as her hand connected with the title page. A sudden, violent gust of wind ripped through the store, shaking stacked books to the ground. Loose pages fluttered around us. I gripped harder onto Emily's wrist as our eyes met. Red met her pink and I suddenly knew we were in a great deal of trouble.

"Shit," I cried as the world seemed to fall away and we dropped into eternal darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

**DragonSlayer2187:** Thank you for my first review. It made my day! This chapter is dedicated to you. :)

* * *

Chapter Two

Light danced across my eyelids, the skin turning yellow red as I fought to open them. With a groan, I managed to squint. Several blinks later and I could make out a blue, cloudless sky.

My lips tugged at the corners. That wasn't right. I'd been in a bookstore. Suddenly everything came rushing back—the purple book, the wind, falling. My heart kick started, my breath came out in rapid gasps. I cringed as I remembered the gold lettered title.

There was no way I _actually _went into the Naruto Universe.

Not possible.

Abruptly feeling jittery with energy, my fingers twitched, something suspiciously like grass between them. I pushed myself onto my elbows, the familiar weight of my hair settling around me. Scanning my surrounding, I found myself in some sort of clearing, surrounded my mile high trees. The grass like emerald and the sky like sapphire. It was absolutely breath taking.

And nothing like home.

A groan came from my right. Instantly alert, I snapped toward the sound. My eyes widened and twitchy panic resurged.

"Emily," I breathed.

Scrambling to my feet, I stumbled at the blood pounding in my head. Had I hit it during the fall? Shaking the feeling away, I crouched at my friend's side. White blonde hair splayed out around her like white out on a green crayon picture. She blinked delicately, confusion contorting her features. Hazy pink eyes cleared and focused on me.

"W-what happened?"

Tension bled from my shoulders and my heart receded to its proper place in my chest. She was all right.

Maneuvering her to sit up, I coughed my throat clear before answering. "I'm not sure. As impossible as it seems, I think that book transported us here."

"But that's insane!"

Grimly, I nodded, surveying the area. Something was missing, but I couldn't place it. Unease coiled in the pit of my stomach. Emily's rapid gasps for air brought me back to her side. Seeing my friend like this helped tramp down my own roiling emotions. I was still twitchy, but I could save my own freak out for later. Filing bubbling hysteria away, I started to rub soothing circles across her back.

"Shh, Em. Everything will be fine."

"Fine," she yelled, her voice cracking at the end, "How is everything going to be fine, Andrea! Do you even know where we are?"

I paused, wondering if I should tell her. It would probably make her freak out more, but I thought it might be best to air everything now. I didn't want her blindsided or pissed for keeping secrets. That was the last thing we needed in this type of situation.

"Well, the title of that book was _Into the Naruto Universe._"

Emily's pink eyes blinked in disbelief before what I said connected. I braced myself. Sure enough, she screeched, "We're in your _comic _book?"

I cleared my throat, wishing for peppy, easy-going Emily. She was so much easier to deal with than panicked Emily. "The correct term is manga."

"You think I care about the correct terminology? We are in a fudging comic book!"

I bit down on my smile. Even freaking out she couldn't manage to swear properly.

"It's only speculation. We'd have to meet actual ninja to know for certain."

Her eyes bugged further. I watched her take several deep, loud breaths before she muttered in shock. "Ninja. Right."

"Right." I nodded, continuing to soothingly rub her back. Some of her tremors had subsided and talking my thoughts through had stemmed some of my twitchiness.

_Just focus on Emily and you'll be all right. _

While Emily started muttering to herself—a habit I was used to—I again looked around us. The sense of wrongness continued, permeating the air. I couldn't pin what exactly didn't fit and it was starting to bug me. Shifting on the balls of my feet, I straightened my spine and cocked my head. Perhaps whatever I couldn't see, I could hear.

Blocking out Emily's voice finally triggered what was missing.

The noise, or lack there of.

We were in a clearing surrounded by forest. There should be birdcalls, rustling bushes from small animals, and the tinkling of leaves. However, none of that existed. Something was wrong.

Very, very wrong.

"Emily," I whispered, not pausing in what I was doing. "We need to get out of here."

Urgency leaked into my voice. She paled slightly, her eyes subtly shifting around. "What is it?"

"I don't know, but there's no noise."

Confusion colored her features, but she nodded anyway. If there was one thing I loved about my best friend, it was her ability to trust me. She didn't understand, but she thought I'd keep her safe.

And I would. I'd never allow something to happen to the people I care about.

Getting to my feet, I offered her a hand up, forcing a smile. Emily accepted with one of her own. We'd barely taken half a dozen steps when the forest moved—or more specifically the shadows.

I froze, feeling like a rabbit before a fox. Dimly, I felt Emily's nails digging into my arm as the shadows slowly formed into humans. Very ugly, very dirty humans.

"Bandits."

Emily whimpered behind me. "W-what do we do?"

I glanced behind me, finding the ragged men forming a quickly closing circle around us. My throat tightened and my back went ridged. We were so screwed.

One of the bandit's lips curled up in a vicious smirk. His shoulders were thrown back and he was a couple of steps ahead of the others. Leader. Black brows lowered over a Neanderthal face. Dirt stained hands pushed back greasy strands of hair. I shuddered as his eyes racked over me and then lingered on Emily. No surprise. I looked like I was twelve.

Reigning in my thoughts, I counted the number in the group. Ten—ten men verses two teenage girls. One really since Emily knew next to nothing about self-defense. If I were honest, I didn't either. Before _Him_—I'd taken to dividing my life into two sections, B.H. (Before Him) and A.H. (After Him)—my knowledge amounted to action mangas and the woman self-defense course at the YMCA. A.H. my knowledge had expanded to one year of Tae Kwon Do. I could possibly take on three of them on a good day, but the throb in my head was steadily changing from a mild annoyance to a full on distraction.

So make that one, max two, I could handle.

As I said, we were soooo screwed.

"Andy? I don't like how they're looking at us," Em whispered.

I grunted, trying to think of something. We couldn't count on someone coming to rescue us. Miracles like that didn't happen in real life.

"Hello, little girls," the Leader leered. "Are you lost?"

I blinked. The dude had the menace down, but was that really the best opening line he could think of?

Behind me, Emily shuddered. My hands twitched as well. The guy was totally giving off the "kidnap little kids off the side of the road with candy" vibe.

Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I spoke, "We're supposed to meet friends. Ninja friends."

I was proud my voice didn't shake. I just hoped my bluff worked.

The men behind their leader paused their advance, shooting their boss worried looks. A small kernel of relief washed over me. At least, I knew they were actually bandits and not rogue nin now.

The man in front of me smiled, "Really? And what village are they from?"

I took a deep breath and gambled again. "The Leaf."

A few men actually stepped back, but the boss held firm. "And why would the Leaf come here?"

I stiffened. I hadn't thought about where "here" actually was. I'd assumed we were in the Fire Country, but I had no proof of that. We could be in Tea Country for all I knew.

Thinking quickly, I did exactly like one of my detective books said. Answered a question with a question in the hope of gaining more information.

"Why wouldn't they come here? We're friends."

He snorted. "The mighty Leaf wouldn't be friends with civilian children like you."

Now that annoyed me. I'd always been touchy about my looks, but outright calling me a kid took my temper for a loop. I fought to swallow, my fists balling at my side. Emily's clutching hand softened its hold, almost begging me to control myself. She knew I had issues with the C word.

"Who said we're kids?"

The man chuckled derisively, "Well, maybe not your friend, but you, love, are definitely no more than fourteen."

Unable to help myself, I snapped, "Try eighteen, you mother fucker."

The boss blinked before breaking out into a roar of laughter. My teeth clenched, but I forced myself to focus.

Group mentality was an interesting thing. My instructor—and Lee Child's Jack Reacher—always said, take out the leader and you'll have to deal with two brave souls before the rest run. I was banking on that to save our lives.

"Watch our back, Emily," I whispered.

She squeezed my arm in response and I felt her straighten, on guard. Taking a deep breath, I launched myself at the cackling leader. Distracted, he didn't see my fist coming. I landed a heavy right hook, putting all my weight behind it. Teeth tore at the skin along my knuckles, but it was a small price to pay when I heard a satisfying crack.

Without missing a beat, I dropped to a crouch and took the leader out with a kick to the back of his knees. Rolling out of the way, I came up blocking a fist from Brave Soul Number One. I spun on the ball of my foot and slammed an axe kick down on the back of the leader's head.

Another satisfying crunch echoed through the clearing. I tired not to think about the damage I was doing. That didn't matter right now. It was either us, or them.

I shuffled back from Brave Soul Number One, keeping my fists up to guard my face. Number One lunged, his black eyes beady and burning with rage. I dodged a series of punches, noticing him favoring his left leg. I had no idea why, but I was definitely going to take advantage of it.

Just as I was planning my strike, a scream came from behind me. I glanced back, feeling pale. Emily was cornered against a tree, eyes huge and stark with fear. Three men were closing in on her while the others in the band of bandits circled me.

It was then I realized my instructor and Lee Child probably never had to face down a hoard of marauding, raping, and pillaging thugs.

"Shi—"

A fist to the face cut me off. Suddenly, everything slowed becoming fuzzy and distant. Warmth bloomed along my lip and down my chin, the metallic tang of blood coating my tongue. Then time warped and I refocused. The rush of wind along my face was my only warning. I dropped to my knees, narrowly avoiding another strike. I could not afford another one of those landing.

Panting, I dodged to the right, grabbing another glance at Emily. She was racing from tree to tree, avoiding the men's hands. Dodging to the other side, I saw a flicker in the eyes of some of the bandits behind me. They were thinking about helping out the others. Apparently, catching Emily had more merit than standing as a barrier for me.

I could use that. But how?

I feinted to the left, but the move was read. Feeling the heat of his fist graze my temple was too close for comfort.

I needed to think of something fast or else the both of us were doomed. It was when I dodged again I noticed two of the men behind me finally brake away from the ring and head toward Emily.

Using their decision to my advantage, I pushed through the opening to Emily's side. Desperate, tear stained eyes met mine. I reached out my hand and grasped firmly to hers.

Then, we ran for our lives.

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I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are loved and criticism welcomed. Just no flames-it's not nice.

Since I have a good portion of this story written, I hope to upload two, three? times a week. However, if my posts catch up before I can finish writing, I may have to drop to once a week.

-Red


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

Thank you **DragonSlayer2187** and **MrsMcKeever**-hope this is soon enough :)-for your review!

* * *

Chapter Three

Crashing through the leaves, Emily and I franticly tried to escape the men shouting behind us. I wish I could say we were leaving them in the dust. However, my short legs and swimming head, plus Emily's heeled boots, equaled us barely managing to keep two human lengths ahead.

"Get them, in the name of Gin!"

I'm guessing Gin was the leader I'd totally crushed. Too bad I couldn't stop to enjoy that small victory.

"This way!" Emily shouted, tugging on my hand. I stumbled over my feet, twisting my body to follow her. She crashed through more trees, guarding her face with her forearm. I copied her, wondering just where the hell she was leading me.

Several more feet and we broke free of the underbrush. I glanced in front of us, finding a rapidly moving river. I stared, "You heard this over those guys?"

Emily nodded, dragging me along the riverbank. "I thought we might be able to find some help if we follow it."

With a weary grin, I replied, "Or we could swim our way free."

A reluctant smile climbed Emily's mouth. I was glad I lightened the mood a bit. I refused to die in a state of fear. Yup, I'd decided, I was going to go down laughing my ass off.

Sounds of breaking branches and crunched leaves spurned us into a sprint again. I was running on pure adrenaline. The burn in my muscles had long since faded and everything was going numb. Glancing over at Emily, I knew she wasn't fairing much better. How she even ran in those shoes was beyond me.

Then again, our lives were at stake. Humans had done some pretty epic things for far less a reason.

Rounding the riverbank, I took a deep breath, suddenly finding the fresh air tinged with wood smoke. Someone had recently extinguished a fire. I had no idea if the smell came from a bandit camp nearby or if the burnt wood meant possible rescue. Even if it was a small chance, we had to take it.

"Emily!" I shouted over the encroaching sound of stampeding bandits. She glanced back at me, red faced and sweating. "Scream as loud as you can."

"Wh—"

Suddenly, I felt rough hands seize the back of my uniform shirt. I screamed, my hand wrenched from Emily's. Flailing in the air, I twisted, discovering Brave Soul Number One as my captor.

For the first time in my life, I was thankful for my height. Growling, I swung my leg back and kicked the bandit right between the legs. He dropped me like a hot potato. I rolled, taking most of the impact on my shoulders. Surging to my feet with an uppercut, I took out the bastard who was trying to grab Emily in the chaos.

"Em! Scream!" I shouted as the man stumbled back.

Thankfully, she did just that.

Now, you know those games all of us used to play as ten year olds? The screaming ones? Yeah, Emily ALWAYS won those. So when she finally let loose, I stumbled at the piercing sound.

All but one man clasped their ears. The loner lunged for me. He was quicker than anyone I'd dealt with yet. Before I could even blink, he'd landed two punches in quick succession, one to my ribs and another to my eye. I cried out in shock at the soft crack from my side. My lungs burned and constricted, shallow breaths all I could manage.

_Bastard broke my rib._

I stumbled back, falling into Emily.

"Andy! Please stay with me," her hoarse voice washed over me.

The world faded to slow motion again before snapping back at the sound of panic. I couldn't fall just yet. Emily wasn't safe.

We exchanged a quick glance and eyed the river. I'd only been joking before. Now it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

But I needed to buy time for Emily to jump first. I stumbled forward, gritting my teeth as I took a weak stance. The speed demon appeared before me, grasping my neck in an instant. I wheezed, eyes wide as he lifted me off the ground. His finger dug into my exposed throat. He was too fast to be human. This guy definitely had a ninja background.

Gulping for air, I clawed at his hand, my legs falling uselessly. My lungs seared with the effort of pulling air past my broken rib. Water pricked my eyes and desperation sunk in. I couldn't die. Not here. I was miles from home. If I died here, no one would know what happened to me, what happened to Emily. Raking my nails down the bandits arm, I drew blood. A soft grunt escaped him. His grip tightened. Stars spotted my vision, blotting out the sadistic expression fixed on the bastard's face.

And then something warm and red replaced the encroaching black.

I felt myself fall, landing with a jolt. Clutching my throat, I gasped in precious oxygen, the deep breaths making my ribs scream. I heard several shouts, and Emily's panic voice climbing in volume. Groaning, I used the last bit of strength I had in my legs to turn over. The sight before me had never been so welcome.

The bandit who'd been chocking me lay sprawled on the ground, a kunai protruding from his left eye. Sickly satisfaction seeped through my limbs. I was glad he was dead. Ecstatic, in fact.

Tilting my head slightly, I could see the other thugs scattering in the wake of three people—one woman and two men. Even in my delirious state, I knew instantly who they were. The shock of orange, the splash of pink and the white of pale skin. It was the newly formed Team Yamato.

We were safe.

And yet, I felt an overwhelming sense of grief. It was finally sinking in. We really were in the Naruto Universe. My vision blurred. I'd half convinced myself that if we never met any of the characters, then it wouldn't be true. But there they were. Saving us.

Cool hands suddenly cupped my cheeks. Emily's horror-stricken face filled my line of sight. I coughed, forcing back the tears and giving her a small smile. "I'm still breathing, Em."

A sob racked her body, her hands shaking. For the first time since it all began, I noticed the state she was in. Her once pristine uniform was stretched and torn around the neck, exposing her pink bra. White blond hair was littered with debris and scratches marred her face.

And it was all my fault. Guilt tightened my throat, making it difficult to breath again. If only I hadn't wanted to look at that stupid book, then we'd be safely ensconced in her room back home.

"You idiot!" Emily suddenly screamed. I jolted as her fist thumped against my stomach.

Involuntarily, I groaned. "That fucking hurts!"

"That hurts? That hurts! You should see yourself right now, Andy. It's a miracle you're still alive. What would I have done if you died?"

"And what would I have done if you were raped?" I snapped, a sickly oil roiling in my stomach at the word. My throat tightened. I HATED that word.

I watched her pale, focusing on the red welts emerging on her skin. Wavering pink eyes met mine.

"I would still be alive," she whispered.

I looked away, pushing down so many things I'd sworn never to say, "And I'd never have forgiven myself." I paused before adding with a forced smile, "Look we're alive, right?"

"Right!" A chipper voice broke through our argument.

I rolled my head toward it, meeting startling blue eyes.

_Naruto._

The handsome, whiskered face drew uncomfortably close. He blinked. "Wow! Your eyes almost look like the Sharingan. Sauske's going to flip!"

I inched my face back, trying to gain some space.

"Back off, Naruto. You're making her uncomfortable." A female voice snapped. Something landed on the grass beside me. With a jolt, I felt warmth suddenly spread through my body.

"Easy," the voice adopted a soothing tone. I angled my head down from the blonde ninja. A pink haired woman hovered over me with glowing, green hands.

_Sakura._

A gentle, reassuring smile stretched her pretty features. However, I wasn't the one who needed it.

At the sight of the medic ninja's hands, Emily, justifiably, freaked. "Oh my brownies! Your hands are glowing." She snapped to me, finger gesticulating wildly, "Andy! Her. Hands. Are. Glowing!"

I bit back my amusement, "Yes, I can see that."

"They're glowing!"

Sai, remind ever impassive, but the other two were looking at my friend like she'd lost it. Who knew, she may have.

"I'm a medic ninja," Sakura explained, "The green glow is my chakra. I'm healing your friend."

"Oh my…" Emily trailed, leaning in closer to inspect the glow. I, on the other hand, focused on the growing discomfort all over me. I could feel my body knitting together and reforming skin and bone. No one ever mentioned in the manga how much healing actually hurt. Then again, getting the injuries hurt far worse. Plus, I was willing to bet ninjas had a lot higher pain tolerance than a civilian.

"So," I hissed through my teeth, "You're Leaf ninja?"

It was better to play stupid. Randomly blurting out information I shouldn't know or fan-girling would get us killed in seconds.

Naruto fixed the headband I'd indicated. "You bet! But what are you guys doing out here? It's not safe."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I muttered, earning a pinched and dark look from Emily.

"We got lost," my friend supplied.

"Where are you headed?" Sakura asked jovially, however, I could see the calculating look in her eye. She was fishing for information, as any good ninja should.

Emily looked to me. I signed, trying to think of some sort of story. I'd hoped to have more time, but it was now or never. "The Hidden Leaf, actually."

Sai blinked. "What for?"

"Emily's cousin just got engaged. We were coming to visit her, but got lost on the way and ran into those bandits."

Naruto nodded, hmming. Vaguely, I wondered if he was thinking about ramen, instead of the current situation. I really hoped not.

A rustling came to the right. I tensed, snapping my head in the direction, earning a sharp throb behind my right eye. Instead of another robber, I spotted Yamato pushing through the trees, a befuddled expression on his face.

Befuddled. Heh.

Yeah…I definitely hit my head.

"What's going on? Shouldn't we be tracking the bandits?"

Sai simply pointed at the dead body several yards away. I shuddered at the sight. I may be happy he's dead, but the whole corpse thing was freaking me out.

"Jimmies," Emily whispered, seeming to suddenly notice the dead man. Her well-manicured hands clutched at the grass beside her and she turned an interesting shade of green.

Yamato nodded, stepping closer to our little group. The uncomfortable feeling made its way up my body. Sakura pushed Naruto out of the way and scanned my throat and head. Painful tingling danced along my skull.

"And these two are…?" Yamato murmured, suddenly standing over me.

"I'm Emily Song," the blonde breathed.

I frowned at the odd quality to her voice. In a single glance, I figured out what was going on. Needless to say, I was shocked.

There was a soft blush spreading across her cheeks and her pink eyes seemed to sparkle as she fixed her gaze on the older man.

She liked Yamato!

"Crap." I muttered. Sakura gave me an odd look, but I ignored her in favor of shifting my attention to Wood Man. He seemed oblivious to my friend's adoration. Lovely. Now I was going to go crazy from Emily's constant praise and one-sided devotion.

It was also a bit stunning she liked Yamato. I'd never figured she went for older men. She'd always dated boys a year or two younger than her. Especially pretty boys and I'd always thought Yamato was a bit plain with his brown hair and dark eyes.

Eh. To each their own.

Suddenly, Yamato met my staring gaze. "And you are…?"

"Andrea Thompson," I croaked, my throat still sore. "Andy, for short."

He nodded, surveying our surroundings. "We should hurry back to the village. We can take Andy to the hospital and come back for the rest of the gang tomorrow."

Sakura sighed, her warm breath puffing over my face. It smelled of some sort of herb and wasn't the least bit pleasant. Actually, I was rather grossed out. Why the hell would I want anyone breathing in my face, let alone some pink haired chick I was a big fan of in the manga?

"I'm almost done. I want to stabilize her."

I held still, even though I was itching to get to my feet. I didn't think I could take this healing thing much longer. It was worse than getting my tattoo. Another minute past and my hands started to twitch again. I was about to loose it when the glow finally disappeared. Sakura had barely leaned back when I came up, surging to my feet. I groaned and stretched, feeling stiff everywhere.

Sakura chuckled, "I wouldn't recommend too much activity."

I raised my hand, smiling slightly, "Civilian."

Arms latched around my neck, pressing uncomfortably against the bruise. I felt myself get dragged backwards and the air squeezed from my lungs. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

I patted Emily's arm, gasping, "Can't. Breathe."

"Oh!"

Abruptly, I was released. I coughed, "This choking thing is becoming far too common."

Naruto laughed.

A throat cleared and I spotted Yamato looking anywhere but Emily's direction. Glancing over, I saw her scrambling to hide her chest. When she'd stood up, the damage to her clothing appeared much worse. Her entire baby pink bra was exposed for all the world, along with a generous amount of cleavage. Again, guilt turned in the pit of my stomach.

A green flak vest suddenly appeared between us. I followed the arm to find Yamato at the other end. That was rather gentlemanly. And very surprising.

"Please wear this for now, Song-san."

I swear the blonde just died and went to heaven on the spot. She turned pink, quickly putting on the jacket and zipping it up to her chin. I even caught her take a whiff of the fabric.

Yup, definitely hearing about this for hours later.

"So… you're taking us to the village?" she whispered.

All four nodded.

"We were supposed to take care of the bandits as our mission. However, victims are out first priority," Yamato explained.

Made perfect sense.

Naruto glanced around, the picture of helpful puzzlement. "Do you have any belongings?"

Thinking quickly, I glanced longingly toward the direction we'd run from. "I don't know. The bandits may have taken everything when they escaped."

Sai blinked and then disappeared in the direction I'd looked. Seconds passed before he reappeared. Instead of brining our non-existent luggage, he brought a body. I stumbled back, as he dropped it to the ground. Nausea roiled in my stomach as he gave the pair of us a blank look. "He's dead."

I heard Emily gasp and tried my best to keep calm. Her nails again dug into my arm.

I'd killed someone.

Suddenly, memories rushed back. The loud crack as my fist collided with his face. The shocking, echoing snap as my heel landed on the back of his head. My knees turned watery and the urge to turn away was almost overwhelming. Instead, I forced myself to look. I forced myself to examine the body. To notice the awkward angle of his neck. I'm guessing I didn't hit his head like I thought.

And then I lost it. Staggering toward a tree, I fell on all fours and emptied my stomach. My nose and throat burned as the acid came up and my world tilted at the putrid smell.

The empty, lifeless dark eyes of the greasy leader flashed before me. _I'd killed someone._

I heaved again. A cool, early spring breeze drying the tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Oh my…Andy…" Emily's nearby whimper snapped me back from my swimming thoughts. Shaking, I rose to my feet, whipping my mouth with the back of my sleeve. Ignoring my friends empty expression, I met Yamato's shuttered gaze. "I—" I drew a shallow breath, working past the swelling in my throat. "I did it."

"What?" came Naruto's stunned exclamation. Suspicion returned to Sakura's emerald eyes. Yamato and Sai, ever the ANBU, remained impassive.

"I see." The captain's voice was clipped as he spoke. "And you say you are a civilian?"

"Yes." I fought down a whimper as I answered. I knew, deep in my bones, where this was going. It was more trouble. And perhaps something more scaring than I'd already endured. I glanced at Em's watering eyes. I could see the shock, the dread, the helplessness. I shifted on my feet, straightening my spine. I'd protect Em and get her home, somehow, someway.

No matter what it cost _me. _

"We are going to the Hokage."

I nodded and made no resistance as Sai approached me with a strand of ninja wire. Em's trembling hands shifted in front of her, panicked eyes seeking mine. I sent her a reassuring smile as Sai tied her hands too.

As Sakura roughly grabbed my elbow, I caught Naruto's wide cerulean gaze. They burned blue fire and his chin tilted up. It was then I realized I had a powerful ally. I just hoped it would help.

* * *

Hello, Hello! I hoped you liked. Things are starting to get interesting, no?

Anyway, just to give you guys a heads up, I'm going to try and stick with the posting schedule so far. That means new chapters Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. However, reviews motivate me and, as a result, I may post sooner. ;)

Also, I have poll on my profile I'd love you guys to take. It's to help me figure out my next story. I won't start posting it until I finish this one, but I like time to plot.

Thanks for reading. Till next time!

-Red


	4. Chapter 4

OMG! It is _insane_ at my house right now. See, we have my grandfather and uncle come over for Christmas Eve and then my whole family over for Christmas Day-which is like forty people. My mother goes crazy every year getting the house together, so right now, it's like a bomb is about to go off or something. One dirty dish in the sink and off with our heads!

Okay, rant done, lol. If you tune in tomorrow, I'll have a Christmas/Holidays present for you!

Oh! And if you have a sec, go to my profile and vote on my poll. It will really help me. :)

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Four

I've read a lot of fan fiction in my lifetime. I'd cried when my favorite characters died. I've scoffed at all powerful Mary Sues and how they do or do not change the story. I've railed when OCs suddenly start blurting out information that could get them killed and I've laughed my ass off at the way Konoha accepted strangers from another world into their midst without a blink.

Why did I laugh?

Because as much as this was supposed to be a cartoon, the older me knew the world of ninja wasn't so carefree—wasn't so simple. Ninja were our world's elites, like the Special Forces or the Seals. They wouldn't let you deny them information for the "sake" of the story. They wouldn't hand you an apartment and money because you asked.

They were soldiers and this was their war. That meant if you were suspicious, you ended up in detention, or since we were in the Narutoverse, ANBU's Interrogation Unit.

"Andy?" A whispered voice brought me away from the small sliver of moonlight dripping in from the barred window high above me. Pushing off the thin bench secured by chains to the wall, I shuffled to the cell's door. I stood on my toes to peer through the thin slot meals passed through. In the shadowed darkness, moonlight turned another set of eyes dark magenta instead of bright pink.

"Yeah, Em?"

Shuddering breathes echoed in the silent area. "Are we going to be okay?"

I paused. Not sure how to answer because I really didn't know. As soon as we'd been tied up, I'd been hit in the back of the head. When I'd come to my senses, Emily and I were already in our cells. Now, we'd been here for three days. Except for the meal delivery two times a day, no one else had sought us out. I could only assume we were a low priority for the Hokage and her men.

Letting out my own breath, I lied. "Of course. We just need to explain ourselves."

The fear abated from my friend's expression and a reluctant smile reached her eyes. "Good."

She vanished from the slit of her door. I assumed it was to get sleep. Every night Emily had done this—sought reassurance. And every night I lied. I didn't want to, but if I didn't, she'd never sleep. She needed to sleep in case we had to escape.

Returning to the bench, I leaned against the corner of the cemented wall and extended one leg on the wood. My uniform was missing—I assumed they took the foreign looking clothes for evidence—and had been replaced with a pair of loose black pants and an overly large, white sweater. Cold, naked toes wiggled for warmth before I resumed my vigil of the moon.

I used to love the dark. It was when I felt most alive and alert. I'd spend hours outside during the summer, sitting on the cool grass of my front lawn, listening to the owls and the soft creaks of nighttime. Ever since _him_, I'd feared it. Without the moon's soft light vibrating a sort of gentle, soothing song, I would have gone mad the first night.

Full dark meant _he'd_ visit my dreams.

My body tightened as it always did when my mind wandered. Fingers curled in the material of my pants. How I wished for a book…

The soft pad of footsteps drew me to the slit in the door again. It was well past dinner. Counting two sets of taps echoing throughout our empty section of the jail, I tensed. They'd come.

Dark material suddenly obscured my view of the hall. Two sets of arms, pale in the moonlight, hung loosely. Hands were covered in fingerless gloves, metal plates on the back serving as guards. The tops and bottoms of grey armor could be seen through the slit. The pair held still for a moment before turning toward Emily's door.

I couldn't have that.

In the past few days, I'd given a lot of thought as to what we were probably going to go through. While I wasn't certain we were enough of a security risk for the likes of Ibiki Morino or Inoichi Yamanaka just yet, I figured we'd be subjected to the same types of interrogation. After all, a civilian close to their borders had managed to kill a bandit. Even back home, it would warrant an investigation.

It was my theory they'd start with a simple a question and answer session. A lie wouldn't hold up, I didn't know enough about the minutia of this world. However, if we told the truth, they wouldn't believe us. Either way, rougher treatment would begin. They'd probably want to enter our minds or force the info out with torture.

Since Emily knew relatively nothing, they'd undoubtedly freak out at what they saw in her head. They may even treat her worse if she went first. However, if they started with me, Em may escape with only a confirmation brain scan or questioning.

With that in mind, I cleared my throat, "ANBU-san."

The Japanese style of address felt strange rolling off my tongue, but I was determined for this to go as smoothly as possible. Being polite couldn't hurt the situation.

The person heading toward Emily's door paused. ANBU Two shifted. I saw the waist bend, but was still unprepared. A white mask appeared at the slit. The light from the moon made the white, porcelain mask glow and painted the eyeholes pitch. Human eyes were invisible in the endless pits. I shuddered to think how many people met their end with this as their last sight.

Metallic fear stained my mouth and my heart lurched painfully in my chest. Back tensing with the urge to flee, I forced myself to calm.

"Yes?"

The response was whispered, but still seemed to echo in the empty space.

"I request to be examined first."

The white square didn't move, but I sensed the surprise and hesitancy in the person before me.

"Why?"

"I believe you will discover more information from me."

Again, a pause—this one a little longer than before.

I'm sure this went against several interrogation techniques. I knew Emily would be seen as the weakest link. She was simply too nice for a world like Naruto's. Enough cops shows and detective novels had taught me interrogation 101: crack the henchman and make them turn on their leader.

"You wish to spare your friend."

It wasn't a question, but I felt like an answer was necessary, "Yes."

The mask disappeared and the slit closed. For one terrifying second, I thought they would ignore me. I thought they'd take Emily and my friend would come back a shattered shell.

_I thought she'd turn into me._

Then, over the growing roar of my heart, the metal lock clacked against the steel of my door.

They picked me first.

I let out a deep sigh. I'd completed the first step.

The door creaked open, the unoiled hinges like nails on a chalkboard in the frozen silence. ANBU Two stood in the threshold. Instantly, I knew this person. The moon in my room struck the porcelain mask resembling a cat. Three red stripes littered the surface—a vertical one on the forehead and two, one on each cheek, horizontal ones. Long, dark hair I knew to be purple, hung around her shoulders.

This was Yugao Uzuki, lover of the deceased Hayate Gekko.

She stood tall in the room, almost engulfing it in her presence. A deadly, elegant air radiated from her in waves.

_This _was a kunoichi.

I forced myself to relax before such a predator, offering my free hands to be tied. Cautiously, she approached, clapping them in heavy chains. Cold metal bit into my skin. They rattled as the weight pressed my hands down by my sides. With a jerk of her head, she seized my elbow and guided me from the room.

I fought the urge to flinch as she touched me. I disliked strangers in my personal bubble. If I was prepared for it, like with the shackles, or if it was Emily, I could deal. However, sudden flesh meeting my own created havoc on my nervous system.

Mentally, I shook my head. _Focus_.

We paused at the door, and I saw her companion for the first time. It was another cat mask, but this one was covered in various green and red markings. The standard uniform of black clothing and gray armor covered the ANBU. As I stepped closer I noticed the short brown hair peaking out from the top of his mask. I had to bite my tongue as I recognized this person as well.

_Yamato._

Suddenly, I was glad they agreed to take me first for a whole new reason. I wouldn't be able to stand Emily crushing on a man who'd sent her to experience such pain.

Yamato, or Tenzo, grabbed my other elbow. I glanced at Em's door and noticed wide pink eyes. Summoning my brightest smile, the one I knew exposed the dimple on my right cheek, I said, "Be back soon, Em. Get some sleep."

A reluctant shift came in the part of the face I could see. Taking this as a nod, I allowed the cat ANBU to continue forward with me. Once we were out of earshot, Tenzo spoke. "You seem rather calm for someone heading to interrogation."

A bitter laugh bubbled past my lips, "I assure you, ANBU-san, I am freaking out on the inside."

He grunted and silence fell.

No one spoke as I was escorted through a twisting maze of tunnels. It was tempting to let my mind wander, to drift away from the difficult task of memorizing the area of similar walls, but I forced myself. Survival was vital.

Twenty minutes passed by the time we reached a more populated area. Based on what I'd gathered, the pair of ANBU led me in multiple directions on purpose. I kept the smirk off my face at the hidden realization that the round about way had only made it easier for me to create a thorough map of the cell area.

My small group stepped into an open area. Several desks were spread out with men and women in black trench coats rushing back and forth or plugging away at paper work. Not far off, to the right, was a large entrance door. It reminded me a bit like a police station back home.

I blinked away the odd stinging in my eyes at the thought of home. I hated my mother and stepfather, they were complete shit, but I missed my house. The small ranch was saturated with memories of better times, times when my dad was still alive. Times when I was still a normal, albeit a bit nerdy, little girl.

I pushed thoughts of home away and locked them in the dark recesses of my mind. Just like I did with every emotion. Now was not the time for that.

Weaving through the crowds, my guards tense as we passed the door. Even if I were foolish enough to try to escape, I'd never leave Emily by herself.

Trying to lighten the mood, I said, "Rather busy place for so late at night."

A grunt of agreement came from Yugao.

Then silence descended.

I sighed. Seemed like that was all I was going to get.

Several more minutes of walking down a lit hallway, led to another metal door. A single black 'C' interrupted the metallic surface.

Yugao turned the knob.

The room inside was plain, decorated with various shades of grey and white. A metal table, bolted to the floor, stood in the middle with chairs on either side. Tenzo took my arm and pushed me into the seat opposite a mirror. So they had two-way tech here too? Interesting.

Tenzo took a step back, taking a position on the opposite side of the table. Yugao stood by the door, tense and waiting. Silence permeated heavily in the air. I faced forward, focusing on the glass. I wondered if anyone was actually on the other side.

"So," Tenzo suddenly started, "Tell us about yourself."

I focused my attention on him, tracing the lines on his porcelain mask. Did I really have the strength to do this? Could I pull this off without getting Em and I killed? Did I really want to gamble with our lives?

Turning my eyes to the dark abysses that were the ANBU's, I knew I'd have to take that chance. Taking a deep breath, I made sure to pronounce each and every word perfectly and with utter authority.

"I will only speak to Inoichi Yamanaka."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed!

Remember to check out my poll. :)

-Red


	5. Chapter 5

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Here's a treat just for you. (Sorry this took so long to post. I've had issues logging in today.)

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Five

In the stunned silence that followed, I decided step two to my survival plan was rather genius, if only for its shock factor.

"Excuse me?" Yugao snapped by the door.

The aura around Tenzo seemed to darken and turn like an encroaching storm. "How do you know that name?"

I blinked, slightly surprised. "Is that really unreasonable information? He's head of one of Konoha's famous clans. Ninja clans. They also deal with the mind, correct?"

Tenzo gave a slow nod.

"So, I will say it again. I will only speak with Inoichi Yamanaka."

A hiss came from the cat by the door. "You realize you are not in any position to make demands?"

"Yes. However, I'm certain his participation will expedite the process. Surely, you have better things to do than babysit me?" I forced myself to keep my tone calm and even, despite my inner turmoil. The atmosphere in the room was escalating to an uncomfortable degree. I really didn't want to die because an ANBU lost their temper.

"I see," Tenzo mumbled. After another heartbeat, he nodded to Yugao.

"But Ten—"

"Go." I flinched away from the hard tone. It was commanding and promised death if what he wanted was not immediately done. I gulped, the realization I was in some deep trouble, sinking in for the thousandth time. Why did I have to look at that damned book?

The metal door opened and slammed shut with a sharp ring. I wasn't certain why Yugao was so pissed, but neither did I care.

When I was waiting in my cell, I'd determined two things about my situation. The first: no matter what I said, I'd end up tortured and/or with my mind invaded. So I'd decided to cut straight to that section of my evening. After that, I'd figured the things in my head really weren't for anyone without top class clearance. And that was where Inoichi came in to play.

Now, all I had to do was wait.

And waiting with a grumpy ANBU was no fun. Steam was practically coming out of Yamato's ears. I guess I'd insulted his pride. In a round about way, I'd said he was incapable of conducting the interview.

Huffing, I gave into my softer side, "Sorry."

The ANBU's head snapped to me and I could practically feel his glare. "For?"

"It's no that I think you are incompetent, ANBU-san."

"Then why request Inoichi?"

Unable to resist, I smirked, lifting my chained hands and tapped the side of my nose. "Se-cr-et~."

To say I'd made matters worse was an understatement. Honestly, I didn't see what Emily saw in this man.

Silence descended again. I started counting Mississippis since there was no clock and I was going crazy with boredom. There was no way I was going to try and talk to Yamato/Tenzo again.

72,001 Mississippis and a lot of fidgeting on my part later, the door of the interrogation room opened. Yugao slinked into the room, followed by the exact man I'd been looking for. Defined jaw, blue-green eyes, and long blonde hair in a ponytail summed up the head of the Yamanaka clan and Captain of the Intelligence Division. If only he was 20 years younger, and I actually wanted a boyfriend…

I felt sharp eyes scan me before Tenzo stood, giving up his seat to the blonde. The ANBU moved to stand by the glass, almost acting like a guard for the powerful mind jutsu user.

Keeping eye contact with the newest edition of my interview, I leaned back in my seat, feeling a bit better I'd managed to make it through two steps of my survival plan. Now if only it would keep going this smoothly.

Time for step three.

I paused for a beat, waiting to see if he'd make the first move. A fair brow arched in question. So it's up to me.

"Hello, Yamanaka-sama."

"You asked for me…?" He trailed.

"Andrea Thompson. Andy, for short."

"An unusual name."

A small smile slipped forward, "I suppose it would be for you guys. Never really thought about it."

Blue-green eyes blinked, the already serious expression on his features deepened. "I was informed you would speak to no one else."

"Correct."

"And the reason?" He pressed, his body leaning forward a bit with the question. It screamed intentional and manipulative body language. He wanted me to think he cared about what I had to say. I fought to keep my friendly smile from slipping into a grin. I couldn't wait to see how he'd react to what I said next.

"Well, Yamanaka-sama, I'd like you to probe my mind."

He stiffened and his eyes widened a fraction.

My smile finally slipped into a full grin. My voice was light as I met his steady gaze, "Not what you expect, yes? Tell me, what _did _you think I'd say?"

Full lips thinned. "Do you understand the pain involved in a mind probe? Do you understand you will relive everything you've experienced as I flit through your brain?"

Trembling fingers clutched at the rough fabric of my pants. I rubbed the material between my thumb and forefinger, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. I suspected as much. The manga never mentioned it, but healing hadn't been described and it had been annoying as fuck. It was only logical to conclude the same thing about other techniques used in the Narutoverse.

My eyes squeezed shut at the imagines those simple words evoked. It felt like hands were pressing on my throat. My nose filled not with stale, metallic air but putrid heat, sweat, and blood. I felt like screaming. I felt like flinging myself at the door and damning the consequences

But I couldn't.

I needed to protect Emily. I needed to stay alive for my dad. I needed to get better to spite that _bastard. _

So I had to lay bare my soul. So I had to endure more pain.

I'd survived before. I'd survive again.

Taking a deep, body shuddering breath, I met Inoichi's gaze again.

"I understand."

Suspicion darkened them to a verdant green.

"And I still want you to do it."

There was a pause. Not a single person in the room dared to breath. Finally, Inoichi spoke, "Very well."

* * *

Don't forget to review and vote on the poll! Scheduled update tomorrow. :)

-Red


	6. Chapter 6

Hope you liked my present! Today, I'm going back to the normal post schedule: Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

**WARNING:** This chapter has some heavy stuff. I think most of you can guess what's about to be revealed with all the foreshadowing I've done, but I still want to give you a heads up. The story is rated **M** for a reason. The following contains rape and murder. I've tried to avoid going into too much detail, but for those of you who want to skip, I've put in dividers and labeled the sections before they start. Murder is **(M)**, and rape is **(R)**.

Also, I have not gone over this chapter as much as I usually do, so I apologize for any mistakes.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Six

"Are you ready?"

I opened my eyes, squinting against the blinding light hanging over me to meet Inoichi's stern countenance. When he'd agreed, the ANBU had been shocked. I could tell Yugao wanted to say something, but held back. It was honestly a smart move on her part. Questioning the decisions of your commanding officer in front of others—especially suspected criminals—was a surefire way to get court martialed.

Reluctantly, the cat pair led me to a room that reminded me of a morgue on TV, complete with a dissecting table and dentist light. At some point, the Captain of the Intelligence Division had disappeared between the interrogation room and the morgue room. I wasn't worried though. If the mind probe was anything like the transfer jutsu, he probably needed to clear it with someone and bring back assistance.

Once in the room, Yugao removed my chains and strapped me down to the metal table. I had a brief moment of panic when my feet had been shackled as well as my hands, but forced it down by sheer willpower. I'd asked for this. I couldn't start freaking out now.

And then, waiting commenced again. During that time, I shut my eyes and tried to cultivate some sort of calm. However, it failed miserably the moment Inoichi entered. Glancing around his hovering form, I noted the appearance of Ibiki Morino. I had to say, the manga did not do the man justice. Even with the scars, he was much more attractive and rugged looking in real life. I almost wished he'd been drawn better. He'd have way more fan girls than Kakashi or Sauske.

"Is this the girl, Inoichi?" His deep voice rumbled about the room. He stepped closer, his expression darkening.

I trembled. Did I mention he was scary as hell?

"Yes. I don't know how long this will take."

"Understood."

Inoichi changed positions so he was standing at my head. Cool fingertips brushed through my dark hair, and connected with my scalp. It felt almost relaxing to my overly warm skin.

"Try to open your mind. It will make it easier." His voice had dropped an octave, taking on a hypnotic element. I took several deep breaths, forcing my muscles loose and waited for the probe to start.

"Mind Probe Jutsu."

* * *

**(M)**

_There was blood. Everywhere. _

_ Finger prints marred the tan walls. Puddles dyed the plush, white carpet red. At the mouth of the living room, a dark puddle pooled across the light wooden floors. Soft splashes came underfoot as I slowly turned the corner. I felt my eyes widen, my stomach drop, and an animalistic cry wrench from my throat. My father, my _**daddy**, _was propped against the red brick fire place. His legs outstretched and arms at his side, palms up. Dark brown hair flopped messily around his ears. He could have been simply sleeping in a funny place. _

_ If his chest wasn't ripped open and his red eyes weren't starring straight at me—lifeless. _

_ My middle turned and acid burned the back of my throat and nose. I took a step closer and stopped. I may have only been six, but I knew enough about anatomy from my surgeon father to tell his heart was missing. _

_ It was gone. Ripped past the broken, white-pink bone of his ribs and sternum. _

_ Turning to the side I vomited as I cried. Cried so hard I couldn't breathe. _

_ Who was going to take care of me? Who was going to listen to my stories? Who was going to read me to sleep? Who was going to sit me on his knee after a long day at work and tell me all the funny things? Who was going to teach me about the world and the people in it? Certainly not my mother. I had no one else but my father. _

_ No one else to love me. _

_ The world spun and then suddenly went black._

* * *

_Keeping guard at the mouth of an alley, I glanced back at my mother. She had a dumpster propped open and was digging through the bags. The restaurant next door always threw away half eaten meals wrapped in paper bags to keep the rats away. My stomach clenched painfully at the sight of one of those white bags. My mother unwrapped it, before a delicate sneer slipped across her face. "This is utter crap."_

_ She tossed the half eaten tuna sandwich to the ground. I gulped, my mouth instantly watering. I loved tuna. I would have eaten it. My mother knew that. However, I wasn't allowed to eat unless she said so. If I did, she'd hit me and I'd have even longer to wait before I could get food. Clenching my tiny fists, I pressed them to my stomach to make it stop talking. Then I turned back to the street the alley connected to. If the employees caught us again, they'd call the police. Mother said it would be bad if they did. That she'd go to jail and I'd be sent to a place that would never feed me. Ever. She said I was better off with her._

_ Shivering against the cold November wind, I huddled deeper into my threadbare jacket, wishing I had a new one like mother. As I was watching people walk by, something colorful caught my eye. Siting abandoned on the buss bench was a book. I cast a nervous glance at my mother, making sure she wasn't looking before darting out and grabbing it. I loved books. Any book. As long as I could spend the long lonely hours of my life lost between the pages, I was happy. _

_ Seizing the bound volume, I rushed back to the alley. A glance at the older, angry woman by the dumpster confirmed I was in the clear. Resuming my post, I examined the small book. It was funny looking. The pages read from the back to the front and consisted of pictures with speech bubbles. Across the cover was an image of a blonde, whiskered boy with a paint brush on his back and something in his mouth. Entranced, I turned to the back and began reading. _

_ "What are you doing?"_

_ Hearing the snapping tone, I stuffed the book inside my coat and glanced up at the woman by my shoulder. Her pretty features were pinched and hard. _

_ "Watching for people."_

_ Her eyes narrowed briefly before she nodded and began to walk away. _

_ I followed without another word. _

_ Inside my jacket, the book pressed against my empty stomach, filling it in a way I'd never felt before. _

_ It was in that moment, I realized I was in love with the story _Naruto_._

* * *

**(R)**

**He** _was waiting for me in my bedroom when I got home from school. _

_ I'd known the minute my mother introduced him as my future step-father, he was no good. It had been that shiver worthy gleam in his eyes as he examined me. It had been in the slight tightening of his shoulders and his hands transitioning into fists. Of course, my mother didn't listen to me when I told her he made me uncomfortable. She'd said she was tired of taking care of me—that she wanted something for herself, for once. He was rich. H'ed give us bester life. I'd shut up after that. _

_ Finding him lying in wait wasn't a surprise. It didn't stop the gut wrenching fear that rooted me to the spot. _

_ When I saw the ropes in his hands, I'd started to cry. _

_ I fought with all my might, but a sixteen year old the size of a child had no hope against a grown man. _

_ Heavy fists ground against the bones of my face. I fell back onto my bed, dizzy, uncomprehending. In a flash, he had me tied to the posts of my bed. Straining against the rope, I begged, screamed for him to stop. To leave me alone. _

_ He didn't listen. _

_ Vision blurred and throat raw, I heard the slide of a zipper. I screamed again, hoping someone would hear me, hoping my mother would come save me. A punch to my bruised face was my response. Salt and blood from a split lip coated my mouth, making me gag. Smooth, clammy hands touched my exposed thigh, sliding languidly up. I tired to twist away, the fibers of the rough rope cutting my skin. It was no use. Pushing my underwear aside, he positioned himself over me. I shuddered as I smelt his stale skin and alcohol laden breathe. _

_ I screamed once more, hoping for a miracle. _

_ The door of my room opened. _

_ I felt my step-father stiffen. Desperately, I turned to find my mother standing in the threshold of my room. Relief like I'd never known filled me. I knew she'd stop him. She's kick him out and call the police. _

_ I was saved. _

_ Until my pale mother's face blanked. She looked at her sneering husband and then back to me. _

_ "I want a better life," she said before leaving the room. _

_ My chest tightened as I stared at her in disbelief. With the click of the door, I shattered. _

_ My step-father laughed before he continued._

_ What felt like hours of pain followed as he thrust in and out of me, but really could only have been minutes. My mind blanked, but the scent of sweaty lust, the metal of my own blood, and the salt of tears burned be inside and out like no other thing in my life. _

_ A low, guttural grunt followed by a foreign warmth in my abdomen brought me back to my senses. My hands were untied with a dark laugh, "You're soiled goods now. Too bad I can't take your virginity more than once."_

_ Then he left me on my bed—a shattered shell of the girl I'd once been. _

_ I didn't move for days. _

_ And he never came back. _

_ Served my mother right._

* * *

"_I know I could never afford it in a million years," I said, "but could I please have a look at that purple book?" I pointed at the one I wanted to see. Margie followed my hand, something I'd never seen, nor could I name, flickering in the dark depths of her gaze. She seemed to hesitate a moment before nodding. I didn't blame her. As much as I loved books and this shop, I was still a teen and the book was expensive._

_ "Sure."_

_ Margie put on cotton gloves for careful handling and unlocked the glass door. Placing the antique novel on a velvet covered tray, she left me with a pair of gloves, saying she was going to fetch my order. I nodded absently, already mesmerized by what was in front of me._

_ Behind me, I heard Emily whisper with odd reverence. "It's so pretty."_

_ I nodded, carefully wrapping the glove around the hardcover to flick it open to the title page. What I saw made me gasp. There in big letters was not something I would expect a book this old to have in the title. _

_ "Into the Naruto Universe," I whispered. _

_ Just as I said it, a soft glow started to emit from the book. _

_ "What," Emily muttered. She reached out to touch to book. Not only did I not want her finger oils on the ancient pages, I didn't want her anywhere near a freakin' glowing book. _

_ "Wait!"_

_ It was too late. I grabbed her wrist just as her hand connected with the title page. A sudden, violent gust of wind ripped through the store, shaking stacked books to the ground. Loose pages fluttered around us. I gripped harder onto Emily's wrist as our eyes met. Red met her pink and I suddenly knew we were in a great deal of trouble. _

"_Shit," I cried as the world seemed to fall away and we dropped into eternal darkness._

* * *

_Taking a deep breath, I launched myself at the cackling leader. Distracted, he didn't see my fist coming. I landed a heavy right hook, putting all my weight behind it. Teeth tore at the skin along my knuckles, but it was a small price to pay when I heard a satisfying crack. _

_Without missing a beat, I dropped to a crouch and took the leader out with a kick to the back of his knees. Rolling out of the way, I came up blocking a fist from Brave Soul Number One. I spun on the ball of my foot and slammed an axe kick down on the back of the leader's head. _

_Another satisfying crunch echoed through the clearing. I tired not to think about the damage I was doing. That didn't matter right now. It was either us, or them. _

* * *

_Full lips thinned. "Do you understand the pain involved in a mind probe? Do you understand you will relive everything you've experienced as I flit through?"_

_ Trembling fingers clutched at the rough fabric of my pants. I rubbed the material between my thumb and forefinger, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. I suspected as much. The manga never mentioned it, but healing hadn't been described and it had been annoying as fuck. It was only logical to conclude that same thing about other techniques used in the Narutoverse._

_My eyes squeezed shut at the imagines those simple words evoked. It felt like hands were pressing on my throat. My nose filled not with stale, metallic air but putrid heat, sweat, and blood. I felt like screaming. I felt like flinging myself at the door and damning the consequences _

_But I couldn't. _

_I needed to protect Emily. I needed to stay alive for my mom. I needed to get better to spite that bastard. _

_So I had to leave my soul laid bear. So I had to endure more pain. _

_I'd survived before. I'd survive again._

_Taking a deep, body shuddering breath, I met Inoichi's gaze again. _

"_I understand."_

* * *

I woke up screaming, hands clutched at my arms, forcing me to hold still. Drowning under the pressure of skin against my own, I thrashed against my bindings. My limps slipped against slick metal. Salt flooded my mouth and my throat felt like it had been torn in two. Yet I couldn't stop screaming.

"She's hurting herself!" A voice shouted over my screams.

I didn't understand what they were saying. But they were _touching_ me and I wanted it to stop. _Needed_ it to stop.

"LET GO!" A voice boomed.

The hands were gone.

Abruptly, I stopped screaming. Trembling, hiccupping and sobbing, more salt coated my tongue. The heavy metallic scent of blood mixed with sweat and vomit hung in the air. I shivered against the table, trying to generate warmth. My eyes were too wide, gritty and drying, but I dare not blink. Blinking meant darkness. I hated darkness.

Slowly, with each struggled breath, the roar in my ears subsided and my body racking sobs turned to tremors. I began to make out voices—low and authoritative, high and panicked.

"I need to see the Hokage."

"Inoichi, what happened?" Someone rumbled.

"I-I…" The strong voice wavered, "Hokage. Must see her."

"Captain, what do we do with her?" The high voice trembled slightly.

"Yugao, take off your mask and help her clean up. Bring her next door. Tenzo, guard the door and don't let anyone in or out."

"Sir!" The two voices snapped. I flinched at the loud tone, still trying to focus on anything but the overwhelming fear of blackness. Metal clanged and echoed. Suddenly, a face appeared over me. I tensed, afraid they'd come back. The face sharpened, showing softer, more feminine features. A pair of warm, brown eyes met my red. A gentle reassuring smile flitted across red lipsticked lips.

"I'm Yugao. I'm going to help you get cleaned up."

I nodded, feeling numb. A woman. A nice woman. I could deal with that. Rustling, followed by several clicks, loosened what was holding me down. Soft, gentle hands connected with my ankles. I flinched.

"Shh. You hurt yourself. I'm just checking the wounds."

A whimper emitted from my mouth. It was soft, but pathetic all the same. And I hated myself for it. The woman—ANBU, I remembered now—continued to inspect me. I felt the familiar uncomfortable tingling that accompanied healing. It was several more minutes, just as the female ANBU finished healing, that I started to gain control over my body again.

The soft face returned. "I'm going to help you up now. I will only touch your arm and back."

I nodded weakly. I still had yet to regain my strength and muscles that had been clenched for so long were already aching. Glancing around the, thankfully bright room, I saw we were the only ones inside. The orders from, I assumed, Inoichi rang in my head. Smart man.

Gingerly, Yugao eased me into a sitting position. The front of my shirt felt heavy and wet. A quick inspection revealed vomit down my front and in my hair.

Lovely.

The powerful kuniochi hefted my weight off the metal table and placed me on the ground. Using her arm for support, the pair of us hobbled off to the side where a small bathroom waited.

"Are you okay by yourself?"

"Yes," I croaked, my throat unbearably raw. I still felt like a newborn foal, but I needed privacy to gather my thoughts. Showers had always helped me in that area.

She nodded, sitting me on the toilet before shutting the door. With the click of the latch, I instantly felt better. I took another shuddering breath before forcing my body to undress and get under the steaming spray.

Only then did I let myself cry.

* * *

Reviews keep me going, so please take a minute to do one. I'd really appreciate it!

Also: Please, _Please_, **PLEASE** vote on the poll in my profile. _**Please**_, lol!

Thanks,

Red


	7. Chapter 7

A quick thank you to my awesome reviewers: DragonSlayer2187, MrsMcKeever, ShadowWolf62400, Shuri Kuran, Astrea Onigami, and Hermionechan90.

You guys **literally** make my day every time you comment.

P.S. I would love to add more people to this list. *hint, hint* ;)

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Seven

"You did what?!" the Hokage shouted, fist slamming on her desk.  
Inoichi winced. The behemoth of a desk went through more beatings than Jiraiya 'researching'.

"Explain to me, Inoichi, how a civilian girl under a cursory investigation, managed to pull my _best_ shinobi into a mind probe that could have been a trap?"

"I—"

"And how is it that a mind probe on a civilian warrants waking me up in the middle of the night?"

"Well—"

"I want an explanation, Yamanaka!"

"She has Nara eyes, damn it," he finally snapped. He hated when she lost it like this. Tsunade got so worked up over her questions no one could actually answer them to calm her down.

Honey eyes narrowed in a jutsu created, youthful face. "What do you mean?"

He sighed at the level tone. At least, she was listening now. "She has Nara eyes. The ones that say 'I have you beat, and will always have you beat, no matter what cards you play'. Shikamaru gets that look whenever he's strategizing with Naruto. I wanted to see how it would play out."

"And?"

Inoichi let out a dark chuckle, still feeling the girl's memories cloying to him, poisoning him. "She had me beat before I met her."

The blonde Hokage leaned back in her chair, intertwined hands in front of her, hiding her mouth. "Explain."

"The girl knew her and her friend wouldn't stand up to the brief investigation we planned. She also knew the truth she told us wouldn't be believed, so she bypassed protocol and leapt right to the final stage of interrogation with Ibiki and I."

"And what truth are you talking about?"

"She is not from here, Hokage-sama."

Words laced with suspicion. "As in Fire Country?"

"No. She is not from _here. _As in our universe."

She snorted in disbelief. "What mind trick is that, Inoichi? And you fell for it?"

He grimaced. "I assure you, it is real."

The Hokage's disbelief once again turned to suspicion. In a clipped tone, she demanded, "Show me what you saw."

* * *

When I got out of the shower, I found a fresh set of clothes and a roll of gauze bandages for the raw patches on my skin. I felt much better after standing under the scalding stream. My thoughts were in order, my body was almost at normal functioning capacity and my emotions were, once again, pushed deep within the recesses of my mind.

I had completed step three. Step four would begin soon.

Dressing quickly, I came out of the bathroom to find Yugao leaning near the door, chains in hand. She offered a sympathetic smile, holding them out. I sighed, making sure my sleeves covered the bandaged wrist before they locked into place. I bit back a wince. The metal cut into my raw skin.

Another smile, voice still soothing, "We're going to a different room to wait."

I nodded, catching sight of the table I'd been on. Repressing a shudder, I noted the blood slackened metal cuffs and the vomit in one corner.

Yeah, did not want to stay in this room.

I wonder if Konoha had something like Bleach's Fourth Division to clean up the mess. I gave a mental shrug. Really wasn't important enough to ask.

Following Yugao from the room, we ran into Tenzo outside. He was standing stiff as a board and, even with his mask on, I could tell he wasn't looking at me. I couldn't decide if the reaction stemmed from my screaming during the mind probe, or Inoichi's hurry to get to the Hokage.

We were just about to go into the room next door when the shouting began. The two ANBU tensed in the direction of the entrance, hands hovering over their weapons pouches. I shifted my weight to the balls of my feet, preparing to make a break to protect Emily. Suddenly, a ferocious looking blonde woman entered our hallway with Inoichi and Ibiki hot on her heels. Hair divided into pigtails streamed out behind her hurried steps. The usual green robe kicked up behind her, the symbol for gamble obscured with movement. As the woman drew closer, I could see the raging storm in her honey colored eyes. She was like a mother bear when it came to a possible threat to her beloved cub, Konoha.

Said gaze narrowed on me and I could tell I was probably more hated than Sasuke Uchiha at the moment.

Hurray.

"You!" Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage, snapped.

I cleared my throat, croaking, "Me?"

Her frown deepened to a scowl. "Get in that room."

She pointed to the one I'd been about to enter. Cooperating seemed like the best idea. I turned the knob, chains rattling. The room was exactly like the one I'd just left. Clattering the entire way, I strained pushed myself up onto the table. Tense, abused muscles burned with the effort and the cold from the metal bit through the clean set of dark pants. With a deep breath, I blanked my face and gave the Hokage, and the two captains who'd followed, my full attention. I assumed the ANBU were guarding outside.

The three elite shinobi fanned around the table—Hokage in front, Ibiki and Inoichi each on one side of me. It felt like I was the chin of Yugao's ANBU mask.

"Speak." The older woman snapped.

_Step Four: The Real Interrogation._

"I am Andrea Thompson. I prefer to be called Andy. Eighteen, almost nineteen years old. I'm a civilian but I know basic taijutsu to defend myself from non-ninjas. And I am from a place called America, located on Earth."

I noticed Ibiki flinch in surprise from the corner of my eye. The other two made no move. So Inoichi had filled her in somehow.

"And you expect us to believe that?" The woman growled. She was really pissed. Most likely because she was confused. She'd always hated not understanding something in the manga.

"Why do you think I requested Yamanaka-sama, Godaime-sama?"

All three stiffened in the room.

"How do you know me?" Tsunade continued to quiz. She was obviously leading the charge.

"As I'm sure Inoichi showed you, where I come from, you are nothing more than a story. Drawn pictures with speech bubbles. I could tell you several things about each other none of you know."

The Hokage smirked, crossing her arms under her bust. "Try me."

"That seal on your forehead. Your grandmother, Mito Uzumaki, had something similar. Did you model the seal after her? And are you ever going to fight Naruto? Do you still think you could win?"

The room seemed to freeze. Soft breathing ceased. Bodies stopped their subtle movements. Honeyed eyes slowly widened with shock. I shifted, chains rattling. The sound melted the ice away. Tsunade appeared before me with ninja speed, her hand wrapping around my throat as a warning. "Who sent you?"

"No one. To my knowledge, anyway. We traveled here by the power of some old purple book. When I woke up, we were in that clearing."

Her hand subtly tightened.

I was seriously thinking of investing in some sort of metal neck brace. People went for my throat far too often in this world.

"Look, Hokage-sama. You know everything I know from Inoichi's mind probe. You also know my information on this world only leads to the middle of the Fourth Great War. Since, according to Naruto, Sasuke," I coughed as the hand tightened, "has returned to the village for some reason, I assume the war is over."

The tight grasp loosened slightly. I took a deep breath of air before plugging onward. "The only security threat I pose is as a source of information on individual Konoha ninjas and techniques. It's no more knowledge than one of your ninja."

"That is a bit of an understatement," Inoichi huffed.

I ignored him in favor of the Godaime's assessing gaze. "And what do you want?"

"A place for Emily and I to stay, really. It would aline perfectly with your desire to keep me in Konoha."

"Emily?" The question was directed at Inoichi with a frown. "Where is the other girl?"

"We have not questioned her yet. After reading this one's mind, it is my belief we only need to conduct a confirmation interview. It is also my understanding the other girl does not know anything of our world."

Tsunade grunted, finally releasing her hold on my neck. "I see. Return her to her cell and I shall decide what to do after the other interrogation."

Ibiki, who'd been silent throughout the exchange, nodded and stepped forward to take my elbow. I slid from the table. At the door, I was roughly handed off to the two ANBU. They escorted me back to our block of cells, taking a more direct route this time. I forced myself to recall my mental map to confirm its accuracy. I smirked when we reached my door. Some days, I loved my memory.

A sob caught my attention. I glanced at the opposite door to see watery pink eyes. "Andy! You were gone for so long."

Keeping my voice calm and soothing, I nodded, "Of course. I told you I would be."

"You're voice…"

Too late I remembered how hoarse I sounded. "I talked a lot. It took some convincing for them to believe me. Everything should be better now."

Eyes bobbed franticly in a nod.

The door opened in front of me. I paused at the threshold. The guards tensed, but I simply returned my attention to Emily.

"It's your turn now."

"A-Andy," her voice wobbled. "I'm scared."

I forced a chuckle, trying to help her relax. "Don't be. Just answer their questions and it will be okay."

Again the set of eyes bobbed.

Tenzo put pressure on my arm. Taking the hint, I flashed Em one more confident smile before entering my room. The door snapped behind me with a crack. I glanced at the chains they'd yet to remove and headed to the bench. Emily's worried voice faded with the steps of her escort as I took a seat. I'd done everything I could to protect her. Now it was out of my hands. I could only sit and wait. My eyes drifted shut as I tilted my face up to the soft glow of the moon.

At least I wasn't in the dark.

* * *

It seemed like hours before noise returned to my cellblock. Opening my eyes, I first noticed the moon still heavy in the sky.

So it was just my fears making time drag.

The door opened with a harsh clack, revealing a masked Yugao. She silently entered the room, motioning for my chains. After removing them, we left the cell and headed back toward the interrogation area. This time I entered a room labeled with a large black 'B'. Again the room looked the same, bolted metal table, two chairs, two-way mirror. The only difference now was its occupied state. A putout Hokage leaned back in the metal chair, flanked by Ibiki and Inoichi. Emily sat opposite, beaming when she saw me. Bounding out of the chair, I was engulfed in the floral scent of her shampoo. She squealed, "Guess what?!"

I winced, awkwardly patting her back. "What?"

"They're going to let us go AND we can stay in the village."

My eyes drifted toward the Hokage. I smirked, "Really now?"

The older woman snorted and faced the opposite direction. She looked like a pouting five year old. I thought I heard her huffing something like, "Damn Naras aren't supposed to be a dime a dozen."

I didn't quiet get what she meant and filed it away for later.

"The nice Hokage lady also said she'd help us find the book so we can go home!"

My eyes narrowed. "That's wonderful news."

_Oh, I bet she did._

They'd want to see it for themselves as well as who had it in their possession. If it was an enemy, we'd automatically be accused even with my mind probe. I had no desire to experience the Konoha Intelligence and Interrogation Unit again. Seemed my next mission not only included finding the damned novel, but before the Konoha shinobi did.

Emily stepped back, pink eyes sparkling again and white blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. I was glad she wasn't so worried anymore. I also noticed she was wearing the same clothes I was. Of course, they fit her nicely. Even in jail, Em managed to look like royalty.

"We will arrange your living quarters and provide provisions for a month. After that, you must make your own way."

I didn't know about the cost of living here, but nevertheless, it was a generous offer. I bowed to show my gratitude. I saw Emily scramble to copy me and fought a smile.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. If I may ask, who is going to be our…_tour guid_e?"

The woman grumbled again under her breath. I couldn't catch it, but Ibiki and Inoichi seemed to be fighting smiles.

"Shikamaru Nara shall be waiting for you outside."

Shikamaru. Heh. I actually really liked his character. He was strong and smart, but well balanced with laziness to keep Naruto the MC. I also really felt for what he'd lost, but as in all lives, the mentor must be removed for the student to really come into their own.

Hoped I liked him in real life too.

Taking Emily's hand, I bowed again and hurried from the room. I didn't want to stay here a second longer.

"Andy?" Em gasped, lengthening her stride to catch up with mine. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just want to get out of here. I can't stand this place."

"They didn't seem so bad."

_As if. _"We've been in a cell for three day, Em. I want to see the sky. To feel the wind."

She giggled, "You can be surprisingly poetic."

I snorted. "Whatever. You can't tell me you want the same."

"I guess. I wish it was sunny though. Do you know how hot it gets here?"

I blinked, "Like I've visited before?"

Em started laughing, "No, no! I mean have you read about it?"

Abruptly, I stopped by the main door. Seizing her by the shoulders, I whispered quickly, "You cannot mention another word about the book that brought us here or that this is a story back home. Better yet, NEVER mention home's name again."

Emily's eyes were wide and confused, "But Andy what about what I just told—"

"Those three had to know. It was the only way we could stay here, where it's safe. But Em, if people found out what we knew, we'd be in danger."

"I don't know anything!" She whispered, her face contorting with worry.

"But I do and they could use you to get to me."

Emily paled, trembling fingers dug into my arms. "I understand. Once we walk through those doors, we have to pretend home doesn't exist."

I nodded sharply; casting a glance around to make sure no one was listening. "We'll find our way home, but for now, we need to survive."

My friend took a deep, shuddering breath, before her voice firmed. "Got it."

Smiling to lighten the moment, I grabbed her hand again and pushed through the door. "It doesn't mean we can't have some fun though, right?"

Seriousness melted away and bubbliness returned. "Right!"

* * *

"So those are the girls Naruto's been hounding me about," Tsunade muttered to the closed door.

She was still struggling to accept all she'd seen and heard. How was it possible a _book_ could transport two girls to another plane? This definitely ranked up there with some of the more incredible things she'd witnessed. She still wasn't sure if she believed it, despite all the evidence.

"They are an interesting pair," Ibiki rumbled.

She grumbled, "One has the look of a child and the other acts it."

"You said the short one is in a great deal of pain, Inoichi?" The scarred man quizzed. Tsunade shuddered at the memories the mind specialist had transferred to her. It was a miracle the kid could still function.

Inoichi's voice darkened as he spoke. "Even a kuniochi would have a difficult time with the events she's suffered."

"And she willingly subjected herself to a mind probe? Interesting."

She heard the Captain of the Intelligence Division hesitate before asking, "Do you really believe Nara's the best choice as a guard? Those two will likely have many similarities."

"True, but I believe he is also one of the few that will be able to hold her here, should she try to leave."

"Wits against wits?"

"Exactly."

From the corner of her eye, Ibiki nodded in agreement. "So we leave the pair be?"

"For now."

* * *

And that's a wrap for this weeks posts. Chapter Eight will be up on Tuesday, the last day of the year. Kind of cool, huh?

Anyway, thank you for sticking with me so far! I love reviews and it would be amazing if I could get seven for this chapter since it's chapter seven, lol.

Don't forget my poll!

-Red


	8. Chapter 8

Two reviews short. Bummer! Let's try eight for chapter eight this time?

Also a big thank you to the three new reviewers on my list: **Yukira-Kuchiki **(Hope I answered your question)**, ****Kyouki no kitsune **(I'm so glad you liked it! That's exactly what I was going for.)**, **and **gokuhikaru82 **(Thanks!).

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Eight

I sat up, clawing at my chest, gasping for air. A sickening crunch echoed in my ears drowning out sharp intakes of breath and the furious thumping of my heart against my ribs. Sweat slicked my body and dampened the white sheets.

_Another nightmare. _

Untangling my legs from the damped sheets, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, letting the cold from the wooden floor seep into my heated soles. It grounded me. Brought me out of my head.

Dropping my head in my hands, I fought to steady myself further. For the past week since Emily and I had been released from detention, I'd had nightmares. Sometimes it was of my father's murder, other times I relived the rape. Tonight, I'd seen myself killing that bandit again.

Fisting the linen, I glanced out the small window of my bedroom. The crescent light hovered in the center of the sky. Looking at the moon, the room suddenly felt stifling. I needed fresh air. To feel the wind against my skin and the coolness fill my lungs.

Tea would be nice too, some chamomile to calm down. Leaving my plain bedroom, I entered the small hall. Opposite my door was Emily's room and to my left, the bathroom. I paused at the threshold, listening to see if anyone else was awake. Both content and relieved I was on my own, I entered the kitchen.

When Emily and I had left the Interrogation Headquarters, Shikamaru Nara had been waiting outside for us. He'd led us to a small apartment complex off the main village thoroughfare. Our tiny flat was located on the second floor of the three-story building, the last door of the open walk building before the stairs up. An open concept room containing an eating table for two, a worn red sofa that sat three, an outdated TV, and a kitchenette in the corner populated the inside.

During a week of searching for work, Emily had seen the three cabinets stocked with cookware and food. Jobs that would help us find leads to locate the book were proving harder to find than originally thought. We'd have to start looking for something else soon and I wasn't ready to give up on a way home yet. We didn't belong here.

Going to the first cabinet, I pulled out the cardboard box of instant tea and set the kettle on the stove. Listening carefully, I took the stainless steel pot off the burner before it could whistle and poured the liquid in an oversized mug. Once I added a touch of milk and half a spoonful of sugar, I unlocked the front door and stepped onto the walk. Breathing deeply of the spring air, I leaned over the railing and stared at the moon, sipping my tea.

It wasn't long before I felt someone else join me.

"This is becoming a habit."

From the corner of my eye, I watched the lazy tactician lean on the rail next to me. I made note of the space between us. He'd learned quickly I had a large personal bubble.

Shrugging one shoulder, I sipped the warm liquid, letting the effects of the herbs steel through my bloodstream and lighten the load on my shoulders—even if only for a moment.

"Another dream?" The jonin muttered.

"Yeah," I whispered, "I remembered killing that bandit."

"Troublesome."

A wry grin twitched at the corners of my lips. While others found the phrase bothersome, I felt nostalgic and comforted. The first time I heard it, I will admit even I had difficulty holding the fan girl impulse in check.

"Want to talk about it?"

Immediately, I shook my head. I didn't talk much about my dreams, or what happened in general, but I knew the man had pieced together a good deal of it. If Tsunade hadn't briefed him outright. The young man had become our guardian of sorts—monitoring Emily and mine movements, showing us around the village, and helping us search for jobs. He'd also become a comforting presence during the nights I'd wake up from a dark dream. Still, I wasn't ready to unload myself like that on anyone. We were still strangers and Shikamaru would have to turn on us if ordered.

Taking another deep draught of my tea, I listened to the silence of the village and the soft rustling of fabric beside me.

"My first kill was protecting my friend too," he finally said, his voice soft but firm.

I straightened a bit, tilting my head to let him know I was listening. This was something that hadn't been in the manga or anime. I would be lying if I said I wasn't deeply interested.

"My genin team was on our first C-rank mission. We were excited to finally be leaving the village, even if it was only for a simple paperwork delivery. Everything was going smoothly until the Grass ninja ambushed us. Ino Yamanaka, the only girl on my three-man team, had just used her family jutsu. It left her vulnerable for attack. My job was to make sure nothing happened to her while we fought. A Grass nin saw her fall to the ground, defenseless, and decided to take advantage. I moved before I even realized what I was doing. One minute, I was on the other side of the clearing, and in the next I was in front of Ino, kunai plunged in the guy's heart."

His voice dropped a bit. I felt him glance at me, but I focused on the moon in front of me, the feel of the wind across my skin, letting him say the words. "I still remember how easy the knife slid into him, how warm his blood was as it covered my hands. I still remember the life fading from his eyes."

I gulped, the crunching of bone coming back to haunt me.

"I was a mess for a week after that. But, then, one day I looked at Ino and realized she wouldn't be laughing over barbeque with us if I hadn't done it. I know it may seem hard now, but it will get better."

My gaze dropped to my cooling tea. The usual light color darker in the night shadows. While I couldn't say I was back to normal—as normal as I can be—his words did help. "Thank you, Nara-san."

"It's Shikamaru, Thompson-san," he insisted, face twisted with annoyance. I bit back a soft laugh. Ever since we'd meet, I'd refused to call him by his first name. Perhaps I was afraid to make the situation more real. In response, he refused to call me anything but Thompson-san.

I hated it.

After such a personal story, I relented. Straightening from the railing, I flashed a half smile in his direction. "And I said it was Andy, Shikamaru."

My smile spread into a full one as I heard him huff his favorite word.

"I'll see you in a few hours."

The ninja waved me off. I enter the apartment and headed back to bed. I needed a few more hours of sleep if I was going to get through another exhausting day of job hunting.

* * *

Four horribly short hours later, I rolled out of bed to the delicious smell of waffles. Emily was cooking breakfast again. That meant we had company. Probably Shikamaru and Naruto. Ever since we'd been released, Konoha's number one knuckle headed ninja had been practically living on our couch. I think he'd made it his personal mission to see us happily settled. That, and Emily was a killer chef.

Gathering a pair of loose, black ninja-style pants and an oversized burgundy sweater, I went to the bathroom to shower with my new sweet mint shampoo and body wash, and brushed my teeth. Wiping the steam from the mirror, I took my time to wrap the front sections of my hair in white ties. It kept my brown hair out of my eyes, but also allowed me to leave it down. It was a great curtain to hide myself behind if I felt uncomfortable. I also had so much hair, it was another layer that covered the shape of my body. I took one last glance in the mirror, noting bags the size of Africa under my red eyes and smooth, pale skin, before exiting the humid air.

Coming out of the hallway, I nodded to the two ninjas eating at our small table.

"Morning," Emily chirped, lifting a fresh waffle from the hot iron mold.

I grunted my response, feeling a bone deep exhaustion. What I wouldn't do for a full night sleep.

Em shot me a concerned glance before sliding a plate stacked with three golden squares across the counter. Greedily, I snatched them up and headed to the table to drizzle them with maple syrup.

"What are these called again, Em-chan?" the whiskered boy said far too loudly, eyes bright with enjoyment.

"Waffels. They're Andy's favorite breakfast."

"And bacon," I mumbled, picking up a fork from the table and taking a seat on the beat up couch.

"And bacon," my friend laughed.

I moaned as I bit into a piece of the fluffy food, the subtle taste of cinnamon mixed with the rich maple flavor. Em wasn't a killer chef, she was a cooking god.

"I can see why she likes them," Naruto said jovially. Shikamaru was quiet, but he seemed pretty content with the food as well. Emily joined me on the couch when she was done making the food, digging into her smaller stack of food. A companionable silence fell between our odd group.

I still marveled at our closeness with the ninja. I'd always figured if anyone ended up in this world as a civilian, it would be difficult to integrate with the ninja community. After all, their mentality and the lives they led were drastically different. That Emily and I seemed to be doing just that, and with so little effort was surprising. Then again, we'd yet to deal with any real issues that accompanied a ninja friendship—friends dropping everything and dashing off for a mission, multiple hospital visits, post-mission trauma, and possible funerals. I hoped we never would.

I enjoyed my budding friendship with the Nara, and Nartuo's presence was becoming very similar to Emily's in my life—they brightened up the world around me, keeping the darkness at bay with the sheer radiance of their personalities. I shuddered to think what would happen to me without them. Still, I forced myself to keep in mind that everything could change with a few words from the Hokage or the shitty Elders.

Grumbling to myself, I speared my second waffle and shoved it into my mouth with a giant bite.

Naruto suddenly swallowed loudly and said, "So where are you guys going to look today?"

"I think I might try as a chef somewhere. Maybe even a bakery."

I nodded in agreement with her decision. Emily's cooking was amazing, but her sweets knocked you off your feet. Originally, I'd suggested she find a job as a waitress so we could keep an ear out for gossip about the purple book, but her goldfish equivalent memory was a problem. There also hadn't been any positions open when we'd looked anyway.

"What about you, Andy-chan?"

I considered the man's curious blue eyes. I'd been trying to find a job at a bookstore with a buy back policy, hoping I might actually run into the book, but I was having a really hard time finding a position. "I don't know. I still can't believe all the jobs at bookstores are taken."

Fox boy snorted, "That's because of Kakashi-sensei."

I frowned, leaning forward slightly. This was my first time hearing anything about this. Was he really only mentioning it now? "Oh?"

"Yeah! His fan club scoops up the openings as fast as they can—especially openings at stores with Erotica sections. They all hope he'll visit and fall head over heels for them."

I felt like gaping. "Seriously?"

Em was also giving the blonde a skeptical look.

"It's true," Shikamaru sighed, adding his two cents. "The club is small, but viciously loyal. They have some sort of crazy network that tips the group off if a job opens up. However, it also means the jobs aren't occupied for long. Once a fan realizes he's not interested, they quit and a new fan takes the spot."

"That's obnoxious."

Em hmmed around a forkful of food, pink eyes wide with disbelief.

"I think it might be best to forget that option," Naruto said decisively. "What else would you like to do?"

I sighed into my plate. I had no idea. If Em was going to work at a restaurant as a cook, I had to be the one with a job around books if we were going to find the purple one. I honestly didn't mind since books had always been therapeutic, and I was happy my friend could follow her dream. Emily was finally getting to do something she wanted, a rare occurrence.

Back home, we'd gone to a prestigious private school. While I escaped a lot of the family pressure to be something my parents decided because I was a scholarship student, Emily hadn't. Her father was a successful lawyer with a fast track to becoming a judge. She was expected to follow in his footsteps and make a politically advantageous marriage. Love and dreams did not enter the equation.

"What if you wrote about books," my friend asked with a thoughtful pout.

I blinked at the blonde. _Why _not_ write about books? _That was…that was…"Brilliant!"

"Really?"

"Really. If I can't find a job at a bookstore where I can sell books, why not find a job where I can review them?" Turning to the two ninja, I asked, "Do you have something like that here in Konoha?"

Naruto squinted in thought. Shikamaru frowned slightly as if he wasn't certain either. Suddenly, the blonde ninja jumped out of his seat, "I know! Ero-sennin always talked about this one magazine called _The Book Buyer's Guide. _They publish all over the Five Great Nations. He always wanted to get reviewed by it before he died." His voice quieted, haunted by a sad note before he added, "I think they have an office here in Konoha."

"Then that's where I'll go." A shiver of excitement skated my spine despite the sudden somber atmosphere in the room. I might finally have a job. After that, I could rest a bit easier. It would be a reassurance to know that in three weeks, Emily and I wouldn't be homeless as well as jobless.

"I think I know where it is. I'll take you." Shikamaru muttered, heaving himself from the chair.

"And I'll take Em-chan around." Naruto volunteered, bouncing back and flashing a blinding smile.

Plans settled. I finished my breakfast and then got ready to leave.

_Please let this work!_

* * *

Okay, so this chapter may be a bit slow compared to the others, but it's setting up the second half of the story. Also mentioned Kakashi, for those of you eagerly awaiting his appearance (**Astrea Onigami**). I know it's taking a while, but I promise he'll enter the stage this week!

Also, I don't think Shika's first kill was ever mentioned, but if it was, I apologize for the mistake. If not, here's my version.

Reviews are loved! Don't forget to vote in the poll. :)

-Red

P.S. **MrsMcKeever****:** Thanks for the review! They always make me smile. In a weird way, I love that you cried. :) It means I was able to conveyed the right emotions to the reader. And as for the poll, if you'd like to PM me your answer, I'll count it.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey, hey! Just want to let you guys know how much I love you! Over a 1,000 views, 20 reviews, and 32 followers. SO AWESOME! This also puts me over 20k and into a new search bracket. :) :)

Yeah…kinda lame for noticing that….

Anyway! Happy Belated New Years! I want to point some things out about this chapter, so the A/N might be a bit long, and I apologize in advance. You're going to notice three things:

1. Mariko's Teahouse. I know several of you who read this fic also read **Inoue Shiori, **so you probably recognize the name. If not, you **NEED** to go check out that story. It's by the amazing **Hermionechan90. **Mariko's will probably show up a few more times as a setting so…I do NOT own it. It's entirely the idea of Hermionechan90, who has graciously let me use it. :)

2. _Passion / Desire_ by Natsuki Abe. Another fic, **Perfectly Imperfect People**, by **RedZinnia**, has an OC who's an erotic romance author. Her fic originally inspired Andy's choice of career and I couldn't resist adding it in. The story is another KakashixOC, so if you haven't read it, I **HIGHLY** recommend. The two books will also appear again so… I do NOT own Natsuki Abe or her work. They belong to RedZinnia, who is totally awesome for letting me use them. :)

3. There are several OCs in this chapter, so you have been warned, lol.

And last, but not least, a big thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter: ShadowWolf62400, Yukira-Kuchiki, and DragonSlayer2187.

Don't forget to take my poll!

Okay, I'll shut up now. Enjoy!

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. NOR do I own Mariko's Teahouse, or Natsuki Abe and her work. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Nine

I stood on the sidewalk outside the small, street corner building, trying not to notice the white, multi-story Konohagakure Intelligence Division building next door. And here I thought I'd never have to see that place again.

_Why me?_

Groaning aloud, my eyes drifted towards it with a mind of their own. The larger building was surprisingly quiet for what went on inside those walls. Occasionally, shinobi in grey uniforms would walk out or ANBU would enter, carrying suspiciously wrapped bundles over their shoulders. I really hoped they were merely unconscious criminals and not dead bodies.

"Not exactly what you were expecting?"

I glanced at Shikamaru with narrowed eyes. Devious humor lurked in his brown depths. Bastard knew where he was bringing me. I'd get the lazy tactician back.

Huffing, I crossed my arms and cocked my hip to the side, pointedly examining the odd triangular building instead of the one next to it. The two-story office building was a modest tan color with propped open, wooden shutters. The back of the three-sided shape abutted the Intelligence Division with a narrow alley in between. At the rounded tip of the triangle was a simple green painted door with the words **The Book Buyer's Guide, HQ **printed in black lettering. "It's not so bad."

Shikamaru snorted softly before heading inside. I quickly followed, not wanting to be left alone so near _that _building. The inside was like my dentist's office back home. A small waiting area with chairs and old issues of the magazine littered the room. A rather large man with a bald spot on the top of his head sat in one of the chairs, while an middle aged woman in a smart, conservative baby blue suit paced the room. A door with a bathroom sign was to the left and a large counter with sliding glass windows, to the right. A friendly looking receptionist with sandy blonde hair sat on the other side.

The door next to her counter suddenly entered and another woman in her thirties with dark black hair peaked out.

"Akane Taki-san?" she announced.

The woman in the blue suit quickly strode over and went through the door with a friendly greeting.

The receptionist pushed the window open with a smile as they disappeared around the corner. "Good Morning! How can I help you today?"

A sharp elbow to my side prompted me forward. I gave the smug looking ninja a subtly glare before approaching the woman. Upon closer inspection, I realized she was only a few years older than me—perhaps twenty two, twenty three? "Hello. I would like to inquire after a job?"

The woman blinked, "Aren't you a bit young?"

Forcing back a scowl, I produced a thin manila folder from the new messenger bag at my side and gave it to her. Shikamaru had given Emily and I one each the morning after our release, explaining they were the Narutoverse's equivalent of a work visa. Inside held a profile along with my picture (I had no idea when they'd taken that) and a written approval from the Hokage to work.

"You're eighteen?" her eyes widened in disbelief. I gave in to the urge to cross my arms. I really hated how childish I looked.

"That's what it says."

Warm brown eyes glanced back at the folder, to me, and then the folder again, this time reading it thoroughly. Finally, she flipped it shut and handed it back. "You're in luck. We're actually looking to hire a new reviewer for the Romance and Erotica section of our magazine. If you're interested, I'll take your name down and you can take a seat to wait your turn for an interview."

I hesitated only a moment before giving my name and taking a seat. I'd already encountered this problem when looking to work at a bookstore. Konoha had a store for every genre of book—apparently no one had ever heard of chains like Barnes and Noble. In stores that focused on the Erotica and had perverts lurking around every corner, I'd given the situation some serious thought. My first and only experience with sex had been horrible. And although rationally, I knew with the right partner it wouldn't be bad, could be good even, emotionally, it would take several more years before I could even think of trying again without wanting to throw up. However, I realized I wouldn't get anywhere if I constantly avoided the subject. I was kind of hoping some sort of desensitizing psychology theory thing might work. With that in mind, I'd managed to get over the mental hurdle of working in such a shop.

_Reading _romance and erotica to review would be completely different and, actually a relief. Yes, I was terrified of sex, but I wouldn't be around creepy old men who'd throw it in my face every day or try to touch me. I'd be reading about two consenting individuals _making love. _There would be nothing about violence or domination. Those types of stories gave me hope for the future, made me believe someday, I could have an intimate relationship without _that _man haunting me forever.

And with my mind turning over those thoughts, I took a seat, realizing I really wanted this job. More so than any job I'd looked at so far.

Suddenly a wail erupted from the back of the room. Shikamaru stiffened beside me, lazy eyes alert and ready for action. A second of since passed before the woman in the baby blue seat threw open the door she'd entered. Hysterical, she snatched an old magazine off one of the side tables and ripped it in two. "I will never buy this magazine again! How dare you say such a thing about my Kashi-kun!"

Throwing it to the ground and stomping on it with her stiletto heel, the woman rushed out the front door, tears streaming down her face, wrecking her make up. My brow rose as the secretary sighed. A loud strike of a pen across paper echoed in the shocked silence. "Another Hatake fan who thinks working here will get his attention. I thought she was so promising too."

Shikamaru let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. Managing to look rueful and irritated at the same time, he whispered to me, "This should be interesting."

I felt my other brow join the first. "You must be joking."

A slight, knowing smirk stretched his lips as the same dark haired woman appeared again at the door, announcing, "Jinto Haruki-san?"

The balding man lumbered out of his seat, flashing the pretty woman a predatorily smile. I shivered and whispered, "I don't think he's going to make it either."

Brown eyes gave an assessing glance before nodding. "See what I mean? And probably not. Leaves in pained tears or purple-faced yelling?"

"Hmm," I assessed the female leading him away and the smug looking secretary. "Purple-faced yelling."

The Nara tilted his head, "I would have gone with the tears."

"I think those two are too professional to physically harm him. They'll probably insult him somehow."

The Nara looked considering before shaking his head in disagreement, "A pissed off woman is troublesome. And violent."

I thought of his experiences with Sakura, Ino, Tsunade and Temari of the Sand. He may have a point but those women were ninjas, not civilians. "Wanna bet?"

"Terms?"

"I win, you have to take me to Mariko's for lunch. You win, I'll spend the afternoon stationary so you can cloud watch."

His face brightened, "Deal."

It took ten minutes for the results to come into fruition.

"How dare you deny me! Do you know who I am?" The large man shouted, face a sickly purple color, as he burst from the back offices.

Shikamaru slumped beside me. "Troublesome."

I hid a smile. I always enjoyed winning.

Baldy panted between shouts, glaring daggers at the serene, dark haired woman by the door. "_I _am Jinto Haruki! I own half of Paradise Falls Bathhouse and I _will _be the next Jiraiya-sama!"

Shikamaru and I both winced.

"Remind me NEVER to go there," I whispered.

My ninja friend grunted in agreement.

"Sir, please leave the premises," the blonde receptionist insisted from behind the safety of her glass.

"You will pay for this!" He threatened, swearing several more times before exiting. The green door slammed violently behind him, shaking the building. Poor door. What had it ever done to him?

"Andrea Thompson-san?" The dark haired woman intoned quietly. I was impressed. She didn't even look shaken.

"Yes," I murmured, standing. Turning to Shikamaru, I warned, "Don't go anywhere. You owe me lunch."

The ninja sent an irritated frown my way before slumping further in his seat. I moved before the much taller woman. She gave me a speculative look, surprise showing in her dark eyes. "How old are you?"

Sighing, I retrieved my folder and handed it over. I was really getting tired of that question. Glancing over it, she shot a look at the receptionist who shrugged. Without another word, she added my folder to her clipboard and motioned for me to follow. I was led past the L shaped reception desk and down a short hallway. Office with names in gold lettering on the windows were on the left. All the doors were shut, but I could hear voices on the other side.

At the end of the narrow hall was a single door. On the window was the name Isami Ito, President. I glanced at the woman beside me, suddenly intrigued. I'd assumed she was in charge with the way she'd handled the other interviewees and how the receptionist referred to her.

She must have caught my look because she suddenly smiled, "I am Ito-san's secretary, Fuyu Ochi."

"Ah," I murmured, not sure what else to say. It made perfect sense she'd deal with all the bullshit while the boss sat back and got the major work done. Certainly saved a lot of headaches.

Ochi-san motioned for me to wait outside before knocking twice on the wooden door and swinging it open. "Andrea Thompson-san, sir."

A distinctly masculine groan came from the other side. "How many more?"

"She is the last one of the day. Here is her permission to work in Konoha."

"A foreigner?" The voice murmured, sounding intrigued. Intrigued was good, right? Suddenly, I wished I had a whole lot more experience going on interviews.

"I believe her name is a bit of a give away, sir," came Ochi-san's dry reply. I suddenly decided I liked her. She'd be an interesting person to know.

The President grunted, the sound of rustling papers followed. "Let her in."

"Sir," the older woman replied before appearing at the threshold again. She offered another small smile before gesturing me inside and closed the door as she left.

Immediately, I was surrounded by books—stacks starting at the floor and teetering to my height, groups haphazardly balanced in chairs, floor to ceiling bookshelves overstuffed to the point the wood bowed. And the comforting smell that came with it. Breathing deeply of stale paper and ink, I felt the tension of the last week and a half drain away. This was right. This was perfect.

"Thompson-san?" A deep voice murmured, laced with amusement.

Eyes snapping open, I glanced at the large, cherry stain desk occupying the opposite wall. A man in his early forties sat behind the monstrosity littered with stacks of paper and dogeared paperbacks. Light brown eyes glittered with good humor and curiosity as they swept over me. I fought the urge to sweep my dark hair around me, to shield me. He ran a hand through salt and pepper hair, "You seem a bit young."

A wry grin slipped past my discomfort, "A round about way of asking my age. Points for creativity."

His chuckle was warm, almost fatherly. A pang shot through my heart at the similar feeling my dad's used to give.

"Your profile says eighteen."

I nodded, stepping around the books and moving closer to the desk. "Yes. I'll be nineteen this summer."

He hmmed, standing and offering a hand when I was close enough. Panic zapped my nerves, tightening my shoulders and making it difficult to swallow. I hated touching someone. With a subtle, but deep breath, I tramped down the sudden urge to flee and gave the offending appendage a firm shake.

"I'm Isami Ito. I own this magazine," he stated, gesturing towards a chair in front of his desk. "Where are you from, Thompson-san?"

I took a seat, repeating exactly what I'd said to every potential employer. "Here and there. I've never lived in one place long enough to call it home."

"I see." Ito-san reached for the manila folder again, flipping it open to scan the contents. I doubted he was really reading it. He was probably using it as an excuse to gather his thoughts.

He snapped it shut, friendly expression melting into a bland one. "Why exactly do you want to work for _The Book Buyer's Guide_?"

I managed a small smile, "I love books of all kinds. Most of what I know about the world has come from the pages of one and I've always wanted to work around books in some capacity. To be able to help readers weed through the stories that might not be up to par with their expectations would simply give me a reason as to why I spend so much of my time reading instead of doing something more productive."

A small smile came at my reply. "Is there a genre you prefer more than others?"

I paused, thinking for a moment. "I suppose I would say an adventure romance, but it's only ahead by the tip of the nose."

"You are aware the open position is for a Romance and Erotica reviewer? You could have to read other works, some more explicit than others."

Thinking of the _Icha Icha_ series, I nodded. I would be the only Naruto fan to EVER read what exactly was on the pages between that orange cover. I suddenly felt a bit smug. "That would be no problem. I was actually going to pick up the _Icha Icha_ series on my way home. Since I turned eighteen, it's been on my To Read list."

Ito-san arched a dark brown and silver flecked brow. "Really? I can't see the attraction to those books. However, it's nasty perverts like Kakashi Hatake that make the series famous in this village."

Ahh, and here's where they lost the fan girl, I thought with a rueful smile. "I can't really agree or disagree with that assessment of the man since I've never met him, but I have heard he's a fan of the series."

The magazine owner sat straighter in his chair. Apparently, I'd passed the first test.

"And your education?"

I knew I couldn't say AP English at St. Mary's Preparatory High School. Here in Konoha, I'd learned civilians attend a general education school until they were about sixteen, and then they'd apprentice with a store or tradesman until a master at their craft. At that point, they could open their own place or stick with their teacher and eventually take over. Weaving yet another story, I replied, "I never attended a general education school because I moved around so much. My father educated me, and as a scholar, he saw to it I learned far more than I would have at a civilian academy."

The man nodded, picking up my folder again. I assumed this time he was actually reading the contents. "Our magazine comes out monthly. A reviewer is assigned a list of books for each issue and provided with advanced copies from the publishers. A list can include anywhere from ten books to thirty, and reviews are a minimum of 1,500 words each. Is that something you believe you can handle?"

Thirty books in four weeks, plus reviews for each one?

"Of course," I reassured, despite the slight tightening in my throat. I averaged a book a day. It would be a struggle to manage that many and all the reviews in the allotted time period. However, I wanted this job, not only to find that damned book, but also to finally do something I enjoyed.

Light brown eyes studied me for several quiet seconds before adding, "We also allow reviewers to incorporate books of their choosing. However, it would be a conflict of interest to review something you've written. Have you ever been published or thinking of publishing while with us?"

And here is where they lost Baldy.

"I completely understand, and agree with that opinion. Publishing is not something I aspire to even if I may give into the occasional flight of fancy."

A genuine smile flitted across Ito-san's face. He relaxed into his well-padded chair. "Wonderful. And what would you say if I said you're hired?"

I froze in the chair, shocked. Then his words registered. "I'm really hired?"

"I guess you weren't expecting that," he laughed.

"No, not really."

Ito-san continued to chuckle as he signed something inside my folder and handed it back to me. "That needs to go back to the Hokage's office."

I nodded, still a bit surprised. After struggling to find a job for nearly a week, I couldn't believe it had been so easy once I'd given up on the bookstores. Seriously, Kakashi's fan club sucked.

"And this is your first list of assignments." Ito-san slid a single sheet of loose leaf paper across his cluttered desk, quickly followed by eleven neatly bound paperbacks. At the very top was a novel entitled _Desire_ by Natsuki Abe. Tucking the books, paper and folder in my messenger bag, it finally began to sink in. I had a job. Emily and I weren't going to be homeless at the end of the month. I wouldn't go back to starving on the streets. I was safe. _We_ were safe.

"Thank you so much, Ito-san."

The older man smiled, standing from behind his desk and buttoning his double-breasted grey suit. "No, thank you. I can't even begin to describe some of the lunatics I've had to interview."

"Ah," I joked, "so I'm the lesser evil."

He seemed to panic for a second before he saw my teasing smile. With a hardy laugh, he guided me around the books littering his generous office space. "Reviewers come by on Thursday mornings each week to report their progress. See what you can get done in those four days and I'll get your office ready for you."

"I get an office," I asked, a bit stunned.

"Of course, you're the new head of our romance and erotica section. You are welcome to read elsewhere, however, I do suggest you use our computers to write the reviews. The technology can be expensive and we get instant access to your work."

"Makes sense."

"It was lovely to meet you, Thompson-san. I shall see you Thursday morning."

Flashing my first real smile since I'd arrived in the Naruto Universe, I exited the office. I had a job. Emily and I had a roof over our heads. And, I thought with a satisfied smirk, Shikamaru was paying for lunch at Mariko's.

This was turning out to be a pretty great day.

* * *

Next post Saturday! Kakashi **AND** Yamato appearance. _Finally._ *squee* :)

P.S. **DragonSlayer2187**: I'm sorry I didn't make her a ninja! I know you've been hoping for that, but I felt it would be unrealistic. She's already eighteen, and ninjas practically started training from the cradle. I want to try for a little realism. But don't worry! I wouldn't give Andy a Nara mind or basic Taijutsu skills if she weren't going to use them at some point. ;)

P.S.S. I use _way _too many smiles.

-Red


	10. Chapter 10

Yes! Nine reviews for chapter nine. You guys are so awesome. :) I have new people to add to my growing list of P.C.R.s (Pretty Cool Reviewers, lol.): **Io's Torment, eirame, Hannahneko, HovaStrider, elidan1012,** and my first **Guest** post!

Thank you! I'm so glad you like this story. Your words make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. No joke.

Also, taking **elidan1012**'s advice (which I totally agree with) I rewrote my summary. What do you guys think now? I'm terrible at these things so any input would be a great help!

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

P.S. Same deal as last chapter. I don't own Mariko's, or Natsuki Abe and her work.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

Chapter Ten

Mariko's Teahouse was a two-story building across from the stadium the Chunin Exam took place in. As a popular ninja hangout, the heavily glassed building had treated windows that allowed occupants a view outside, but no one a view in. The wait staff was trained in discretion and the foreign dishes the kitchen cooked up remind me of home. When Naruto had taken Emily and I here our first day, I'd fallen in love with the place. I didn't care if the ninja patrons were an odd cast of characters nor did I care about the suspicious glances I received because I was a civilian. All that matter were the amazing teas and taste of home cooked food.

Walking inside the open concept building, I spotted the glass encased kitchen where shinobi could see their food being prepared, several booths in one corner and an area with tables. There was also a raised platform where traditional tea ceremony took place. Currently, a group of Hyuga were occupying the tables, watching a dark haired woman with blue eyes make their tea. Shikamaru led us past the platform and took a seat at one of the booths. Immediately, a petite waitress in her serving uniform hovered outside hearing range, waiting to be acknowledged. I waved her forward.

"Hello," she stated calmly. "My name is Miki. How can I help you today?"

Her warm and friendly manner set the ninja across from me in the booth at ease. _This _was the attraction to the largest teahouse in Konoha. The people who worked here went out of their way to make the usually high-strung shinobi comfortable. It helped that I felt at ease in the atmosphere as well.

"Mackerel cooked with miso." Shikamaru said grumpily. He still didn't like that he'd lost the bet, although he was happy I'd gotten a job. Now if only Emily would come back with one…

I shot him a smug smile before ordering, "I'll have the chicken stir fry."

"And for tea?"

"Green," we said at the same time. Shikamaru blinked and groaned playfully, "I need to stop hanging out with you."

"Ditto."

Miki grinned, then discretely disappeared, leaving us to our own devices.

"So what books do you have to read for your first issue," my ninja friend asked.

Digging through my bag, I withdrew the list. "There's Icha Icha Paradise and Violence by Jiraiya, and Desire by Natsuki Abe. Both are erotica. There's another book called—"

"Andy-chan!" A loud voice shouted, cutting me off. I winced, knowing exactly who was yelling. There was only one person who could get away with calling me that.

"Naruto," I greeted the whiskered boy as he came bounding up to our table.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shikamaru lost a bet and has to treat me to lunch."

Naruto grinned slyly at the irritated Nara. "You lost?"

I ignored the brunette's huff of annoyance, glancing around for Emily. Her familiar head of white blonde hair was no where to be found. "Where's Em?"

Fox boy stared at me in confusion, before he seemed to remember something. "She got a job here in the kitchen," he announced with an extended index finger. Leaning around the back of the booth, I spotted my friend. Dressed in the white kitchen staff uniform, she buzzed about the other chef's, cooking dishes with quick, efficient movements. Her usually bright features were drawn with concentration. It was almost like a dance how they weaved about each other, set on their tasks.

"Well I'll be." I don't know why I was surprised. Honestly, I should have thought of Mariko's as a place for Em to work before. The food they cooked was very similar to the recipes we used back home. She'd be a natural in their kitchen. "That's awesome."

Shikamaru nodded his agreement. "It's good you both have jobs now."

"Yeah."

"Where did you find work?" the curious blonde asked.

Scooting over in my seat, Naruto slid next to me in the booth. "The Book Buyer's Guide. Icha Icha series one and two are part of my first reading list."

"Really?" he exclaimed, bouncing in his seat. "Ero-sennin would be so excited. Make sure you give an honest opinion."

"I will."

Our little trio continued to talk through the delivery of lunch and dessert. Naruto ordered a strawberry shortcake, his Mariko's obsession. When we finished, Shikamaru paid for both of us (Naruto is a master manipulator in that area) and took mine and Emily's folders, heading to the Hokage tower to submit them. He promised to meet up later. Naruto decided to stick around the area and wait for Em to finish work in a few hours. Something about safety in numbers. I wasn't too concerned if she had the future Hokage hanging about her.

Thus, left on my own for the first time since I arrived in Konoha, I did what any good fan would do—head to the Hokage Monument for the view and read the Holy Grail of perverted books: Icha Icha Paradise.

The climb took me past the ANBU headquarters and several feet of stairs. By the time I was at the top, my clothes were soaked with sweat and I was gulping for air like a fish. Just as I was about to swear to never do this again, my breath caught in my throat at the incredible sight before me. All of Konoha sprawled out under the monument, people like ants and buildings, spots of vibrant color. The air encased by the circular walls crackled vibrantly with life. Afternoon sky so blue and spring so bright, I felt like I'd never seen the world before. The Narutoverse was beautiful and I felt extremely humble to be one of two people from our world to experience it. Despite all the challenges Emily and I had over come and those I could feel looming on the horizon, this was something I would never trade for the world.

Shuddering and feeling ridiculously small, I took one last look out on the world, imagining how Harashima Senju and Madara Uchiha must have felt looking out of the valley and plotting a village that would change the world.

_This _was Konoha. The Will of Fire.

With that thought in mind, and the muscles in my cheeks twisting with the unfamiliar movement of a smile, I plopped down on a patch of grass and began reading Icha Icha Paradise.

_Jun, a strapping young boy of fifteen, woke to a startling sight. It was Tume. Gloriously naked with her large breasts pressed pleasantly to his side…_

"Well, this should be interesting," I murmured and continued to read. When I looked up again, the blue sky was now pitch black. I glanced at the book in my hands, seeing I was near the end. I decided it was, surprisingly interesting, even if the writing style reminded me of an elementary school student. The boy, Jun, spent his time chasing after other women in the hope they could measure up to his first experience in love with Tume. It was a thinly disguised portrayal of Jiraiya's love and attempted seduction of Tsunade. I wondered if the Hokage had ever read the books. Probably not. If she had, Jiraiya have died long before the encounter with Pain.

Turning to the last page, I read:

_Tume froze at Jun's sudden confession. "So all the other women you've chased…"_

"_I tried to forget you, Tume, just like you asked me to," the young man cried, "But you are the only woman who can truly sedate my desires. The only woman who can make me hard with a look. The only woman who—"_

"_Enough, Jun! I told you never to say such things again after our time together. I told you that there would be consequences."_

_Jun gulped. He didn't want her to leave him. He couldn't take it if she walked away again._

_Suddenly, Tume leaped across the room, giving him a full display of her wondrous breasts. She seized his wrists, wrenching them above him with her inhuman strength. Pressing down on his throbbing dick, she whispered, "Speaking of such things results in…screaming."_

_To Be Continued…_

I blinked at the text before snapping the first volume shut. Eyeing the next red-colored volume in the series, titled Icha Icha Violence, I totally understood the title.

For a brief moment, I debated whether I really wanted to read it or not, but who was I kidding? I so was. I just hoped it didn't stray too far from the fine line BDSM topics trekked. It would make me extremely uncomfortable to read it, if it did, and I wanted to be as unbiased as possible when I reviewed.

Noting the sky had darkened further, I stood up and headed back to my apartment. Everyone was probably wondering where I was. I was kind of surprised Shikamaru wasn't looking for me by now. Then, I passed the ANBU headquarters and snorted to myself. Of course they weren't looking for me. Unable to resist, I waved at the building, positive a guard was posted at one of the many tempered windows to observe me. A startled laugh erupted from behind one to the right on the second floor.

Yup. I loved it when I was right.

I continued down the stairs, relieved the downward journey was much easier on my lungs and aching thighs. Making it back to my apartment in record time, I opened the door to a small surprise. Naruto and Shikamaru were seated at our eating table, a board game between them. Naruto was groaning loudly in defeat, two others looking on as the game progressed. I recognized them instantly.

Ino Yamanaka looked exactly like she did in Shippuuden—flattened blonde bangs with ponytail, red clip, purple two piece with exposed midriff, and fishnets at her joints. She had her usually bossy air about her, but it seemed tempered with maturity and a slight motherly quality. I'd never minded Ino as much as I had Sakura—possibly because she wasn't as big of a character—but right now, with her relaxed expression and laughing at Naruto's expense, I didn't think I minded her at all. I'd hold out on the official judgment for later.

Next to her, a silent, stoic spectator, was Sasuke Uchiha. I couldn't believe he was calmly standing beside his former fan girl as if it were nothing. I also couldn't believe Ino wasn't even the least bit psyched about it. He looked extremely different from his time with Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. Gone was the long, white sleeved shirt and in it's place was a black, sleeveless gi top and grey belt holding it closed. I fought the urge to snort since it still hung open, exposing his pale, toned chest. Ego much? Baggy pants were replaced with tighter grey ones, tucking into black ninja boots. He wore a Konoha forehead protector around his right bicep. And his hair…still looked like a duck's butt. His personality didn't seem like it had changed much either. Perhaps his face had softened, the hard edge of revenge absent, and his aura a bit calmer, but that was it.

"Andy?" Emily called as I entered the apartment, kicking off my shoes. Ignoring the game in the dining area, I turned to find my friend leaning over a hot stove, frilly pink apron in place.

"Aren't you tired from cooking all day?"

Emily seemed surprised before her face brightened, "Naruto mentioned you stopped by Mariko's. And I don't mind. It's good practice. I could never get tired of doing what I love."

"If you say so," I shrugged, tossing my messenger bag on the couch. I could feel the eyes of Ino and Sasuke fixed on me as I moved. They'd been staring since I'd entered, probably even sensed me coming up the stairs. Giving into their curiosity, I approached the table. Ino offered a friendly smile, "Hi, I'm Ino Yamanaka."

"Sasuke Uchiha," the dark haired man intoned. I met both their gazes, registering the startled look of the Sharingan user. His black eyes caught and held mine for a second longer than the blue-green gaze of the Yamanaka. In his dark depths, I saw a sad and tortured past, similar to my own. In that split second, I realized I could have an incredible friend in this man. Someone who would completely understand everything I've been through and then some. If I could just get past what a self-centered child he'd been. Then again, that _was _technically Itachi's manipulation. Still, the boy does have a mind of his own…

Releasing a breath, I forced a small smile for the newbies. "Yo. Andrea Thompson."

Naruto groaned from the chair beside me. "Don't say yo. It reminds me of Kaka-sensei and I've already had enough of him today."

The Uchiha snorted. "What do you mean by that, dobe? We only saw him for an hour this morning."

"My point exact—Aw, Shikamaru! Mercy, man."

I bit back a laugh as Naruto cried out in response to a move Shikamaru made in the game. I glanced at the wooden board with a grid pattern. They were moving pentagon shaped pieces with Kanji symbols on them. I knew this was the game Nara played with Asuma and his dad, Shikaku, on multiple occasions before they died, but I couldn't remember the name of it for the life of me. Naruto seemed like he was repeatedly loosing, and very badly too. Not too much of a surprise.

"What are you playing?" I finally asked over Naruto's wailing.

The four ninja froze, staring in disbelief.

"You don't play, Andy-chan?" Naruto said with wide, blue eyes.

"I've never tried."

"What?" he cried, "But you remind me so much of Shikamaru and he loves it!"

I reminded him of the Nara? Glancing over to the man in question, we both blinked in at each other. I shrugged and he did the same.

"See!" The blonde crowed triumphantly.

"I don't see it," my friendly guard drawled. I nodded in agreement.

Several more moments of observation, and I decided I wanted to try my hand against the incredible Nara. I couldn't loose as badly as Naruto, right? "Teach me?"

Shikamaru eyed me before sighing, "It'll be troublesome, but fine."

"I'm free!" Fox boy shouted, leaping out of the chair and joining Emily in the kitchen.

"He acts like its some sort of torture."

"For him, it is." Ino said with a smile.

"Dobe."

I grinned at the ninja and took a seat across from Nara. He explained the rules as he reset the board. I found it a lot like chess. I'd never played that either, but I knew some of the basic principles. Finally, he was ready to play. Five minutes later, I slumped back in my seat, all four of us staring at the board in disbelief.

"How…" Ino muttered, awe creeping into her voice.

"Shit." Sasuke whispered, tilting his head to look at the game from every angle.

"I…I lost." The lazy ninja said. He leaned back in his seat, eyeing me like a new species of human.

I didn't actually believe it myself. There was no way I could beat a genius with an IQ of 200. Not possible. Sure I was smart, but not at his level.

"Beginner's luck," I exclaimed, messing up the board and setting it again. "You were probably going easily on me, right, Shikamaru?"

He blinked, quickly nodding, "Right. It was a subconscious thing."

"Exactly! We'll play for real this time."

Ten minutes later, I saw Ino and Sasuke exchange a look from the corner of my eye. I looked up at Nara whose head was in hand hands, staring in silent shock at the board.

Clearing my throat, I announced, "I won."

"Oh my God! Someone beat Shikamaru," Ino hollered. A clatter came from the direction of the kitchen. Nartuo, wide eyed and panting, froze before our table. His eyes scanned the board, going wider with every second. He glanced between the two of us before erupting into laughter. "You should see your faces! Both of you are so pale. Like your facing down a hoard of S-ranked ninjas instead of a shogi board."

The four of us exchanged looks before bursting into laughter.

"Good game." Shikamaru said with a smirk. "I'll make sure to beat you next time."

"And I'll make sure to never loose." I laughed.

"Dinner is ready!" Emily yelled. We broke up our game and helped the blonde girl put food one the table. Serving buffet style and standing around, the small apartment was filled with laughter and stories. Over the next few weeks, Emily and I settled into a routine with the four ninjas. We'd head off to do our perspective jobs for the day and spend the nights together—eating dinner, watching movies or going to bars. The others thought it was hysterical I had to request a special ID from the Hokage proving my age so I could get access to alcohol. I just found it bloody annoying.

During that time, I also became quiet close with Shikamaru and Sasuke. The three of us would spend a large amount of our time on the roofs of buildings or the Hokage Monument—Shikamaru watching clouds and napping, Sasuke sharpening his weapons or reading a book I'd recommended and me, reading for _The Book Buyer's Guide_.

It was also during that time, my first reviews came out. I'd ended up loving Desire by Natsuki Abe and Icha Icha Paradise by Jiraiya. It was Icha Icha Violence I'd given a negative review. It had been a struggle for me to finish reading since the book had crossed that delicate line. It was even harder to write the review. I'd be forever indebted to Sasuke. He'd offered to read the book and give his own opinion when I told him how much I was struggling with it. I didn't have to go into detail. He'd looked examined me for several seconds before taking the offending novel from my hands and starting from the beginning. He'd won my loyalty that day.

When his opinion need up matching my own, I'd felt much better about myself and submitted a review. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined what kind of attention that review would get.

Especially from one Kakashi Hatake.

* * *

_**Desire **_**By Natsuki Abe:** A+

The great Natsuki Abe, author of _Passion_, has done it again! Her newest book, Desire, speaks of the sensuous thrill one lonely, older gentleman has found in his daughter's best friend. In the newest addition of the series, Sakai-san travels to the big city. At first, he's overwhelmed with the sights and sounds, however, he finds comfort in a woman significantly younger than himself. Their love transcends age and gives hope to the soul! And let's not forget that titillating little scene in the ex-wife's back garden. It still gives me shivers and curls my toes. One of this spring's must reads!

_**Icha Icha Paradise**_** By Jiraiya: **A-

A wonderful start to the famed Icha Icha series. Jun is lovable character who's antics result in stunning character growth and great development in emotional maturity. While the writing is a bit simplistic, and the author seems to have a breast obsession, it's an entertaining read. I particularly loved the scene where Tume catches Jun peaking in the female baths. Such a smooth talker! If you haven't already read it, go out and get it today.

_**Icha Icha Violence**_** By Jiraiya: **D

This book was such a disappointment! The start of the story walked the fine line BDSM readers of the erotica genre know all too well. I had hope the story would continue on the right path and develop Jun's character through a beautiful sexual journey scattered with budding romance. Alas, it wasn't to be. Half way through the book, it became one giant dominatrix orgy. The story became more about the humiliation of a man than the tender development of a teen through the love of the only woman he'd ever been satisfied with. Avoid at all costs!

* * *

Kakashi Hatake paused on one of the tree branches he was traveling across, anxious thoughts of home and a shower fleeing from his mind. His teammates Genma and Yamato stopped beside him, tense and shooting him curious glances. The great Copy Nin ignored them, riveted by the last review in the romance and erotica section of _The Book Buyer's Guide_. He read it again, slower this time, still disbelieving.

"Sempai?" Yamato mutter, "Is something wrong?"

He blinked away from the magazine in his hands, giving his companion a dark glance. "Yes."

Genma exchanged a look with the ANBU operative before asking, "What is it?"

In answer, he tossed the magazine to his senbon chewing friend and took off at a rapid, chakra eating pace. "I have to get to Konoha and put a stop to this. No one is allowed to trash the books of my sensei's master."

A whistle came from one of the two ninja left behind as the pair examined what had flustered the usually collected ninja.

"Well, I'll be damned," Genma muttered, a cheshire grin slowly cracking his face.

Yamato nodded, reading the review again. He suddenly stiffened when he saw the heading.

Genma, noticing the change in his teammate, followed his gaze. Beneath the section title was a foreign woman's name. "Andrea Thompson?"

The ANBU groaned, dropping the magazine to the forest floor below. "Sempai has no idea what he's getting himself into."

* * *

FINALLY KAKASHI APPEARS! Lol. What do you think is going to happen next?

I like to think of this as the end of Part One. Next week (on Tuesday EST) will begin what I'm calling Part Two, which is the romance of my OCs with a bit of humor and adventure thrown in. Thank you for sticking with me as I set up Andy and Emily's lives in Konoha. I hope you are all as excited as I am to find out what comes next. (That's a fact. I never know what's going to happen until I write it.)

Also, if you're looking for a good Kakashi fanfic, and don't mind femNaru, check out **CrownsofLaurels** work. It's sadly on a two month hiatus, but a good chunk (75k, I think) is there. I've never laughed so hard! :)

Don't forget my pole and thank you for all the New Year wishes!

P.S. I'm glad I'm not the only one who likes smiles, **DragonSlayer2187**! (And now I'm getting into 'P.S.' Geeze...)

-Red


	11. Chapter 11

Hello! Sorry for the later than usual update.

Just to clear up a few things for anyone who may be confused, I'm just borrowing Mariko's as a setting. The time in which the stories take place and the events that occur are completely different. I thought it would be kind of fun for you guys to do a crossover. I know I love it when my favorite authors do it in real life. Also, Inochi did die in the war, but as I PM'd someone before (can't remember who right now), I just couldn't picture Ino in her dad's position, for all her gossiping ways, so I brought him back from the dead because…well, I can. And Itachi won't stop me. Take that Kabuto! :)

Also new to the list of P.C.R.s are: **NoName **(Guest)**, ****AngelOfAnime97, ****PikuPow****, Mizuki Kyuuji, ****maleficus-lupus****, Warrior of Sangre, KitsuneNEh**

Hope that helps! Check out my poll and _**PLEASE** **read the ending A/N. It's important, I swear.**_

I apologize for any mistakes. I did not read this one over as much as I usually do.

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

The sound of my office door opening, followed by muffled laughter, jerked my attention mid-type. Sasuke, looking a bit worse for wear, stormed inside the room, ever present scowl downright menacing. My other friend, Shikamaru, trailed lazily behind, shoulders shaking and brown eyes bright, but far too lazy to actually break out into the howls of laughter pinching his face. Mournfully, I glanced at my computer screen. My review was never going to be finished now. I'd been on a roll too.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, leaning back in my chair. Truthfully, I was a bit surprised the two had stopped by. They'd never visited me at the office before.

Shikamaru collapsed into one of the two chair positioned across from me, on the other side of the desk. His mouth twitched, "We were on our way to the T&I building w-when…when…"

The Nara suddenly started howling, tears peaking out of the corner of his eyes. I blinked. So now it was too much effort to hold back the laughter. Interesting. I wonder what happened. Judging by the glacial glare my raven haired friend shot him, I was willing to bet it had to do with the Uchiha.

Taking a closer look at Sasuke's uncharacteristic dishevelment, I started to notice several things that brought drew an amused smirk. The first was the askew gi top. Several handkerchiefs and little shreds of paper were stuffed next to his chest, large black numbers clearly visible from my position on the other side of the room. Next, were the series of kiss marks scattered over the exposed skin of his chest and cheeks. The prints varied in shades of pink and reds. One was dangerously close to the ninja's nether regions. Lastly, I noticed the copious amounts of glitter and repugnant scent of too strong perfume. Conclusion?

Sasuke had been mauled.

By his fangirls.

He seriously still had that many after betraying the village? Persistent much.

I could feel my lips stretch upward as the man in question focused his dark gaze on me. "When what happened?"

"Tell her and you die, Nara." He grumbled, emptying his shirt into my trash.

"Shall we see who's faster?" Shikamaru drawled. I winced at the challenge. I had no idea who was stronger, but the Uchiha pride would not let that statement go and I really like my office in one piece—hell, the whole building in one piece would be nice too.

"How about I take a guess, then?" I said a bit too loudly, hoping to cut off further comments before the situation could deteriorate.

With OCD like precision, Sasuke straightened out his clothes to their usual immaculate look and ran a hand through his hair to fix it. "No need. I'll just show you."

"Show me?"

He suddenly hissed, stalking toward my desk. I quickly shifted out of the shin obi's way. He looked like he was on a war path. And his target was my shuttered windows. With barely disguised curiosity, I watched as he viciously ranked up the blinds.

"Holy shit!" I cried, clutching my chest.

Peels of laughter erupted from the chair Shikamaru occupied, followed by a loud thunk and groan. Or previously occupied, I thought warily.

Sasuke turned to me, looking as desperate as the man was capable of. "Make them _go away_."

Turning back to my window, I shifted in my seat under the intense stares of the teenage girls glued to the glass. The resemblance to suction cup toys was remarkable. "How'd they even get in there?"

My office window faced the Intelligence HQ, hence the always closed blinds. There was only a tiny alley between the two buildings. Barely enough room for a person to squeeze through sideways.

"How the hell should I know," the Uchiha shouted. He was starting to look desperate again. I think I better understood his avoidance to females now.

Nara suddenly climbed up from the floor, muttering his genius level input, "Pure, unbridled determination."

The other young man's shoulder slumped in defeat, "Hn."

"Troublesome," the pineapple head muttered. "The only good thing about this place is the guard dog of a secretary."

Sasuke sharply nodded his agreement.

A chuckle rumbled though my chest as I thought of the friendly blonde receptionist. Kimi was extremely nice and personally to everyone—except fangirls. For them, she seemed to hold a special hatred that was borderline maniacal. There seemed to be some sort of unwritten law of avoidance between both parties. It kind of made me wonder about that Kakashi fan who'd tried to get the review job. Last I'd heard, she'd been barred from the bookstores and any other masked jonin haunts since that failed interview.

An interesting and rather inventive hell. Points for creativity.

"I see." I whined, clutching my chest in mock pain, "So you're using me for my secretary."

Sasuke gave me a reluctant smile. "You got me."

Screams could be heard through the glass. All three of us turned toward them and I noticed a particular nasty look or two thrown my way.

"What'd I do to piss them off?"

"Made him smile," the Nara replied. "Congratulations. You just became one of the most hated women in Konoha."

I faked wiping away a tear, "I don't know what to say. I've worked so hard for this day…my dream has finally come true."

Sasuke stared at me for a heart beat and suddenly smiled. Like really smiled. It transformed his face, turning hard worn features softer and more boyish. Flat dark eyes shone and little wrinkles crinkled his eyes. If girls thought he was hot all cold and aloof, they hadn't seen anything until that boy smiled.

If I weren't totally emotionally unavailable, I would have had a heart attack. Instead, I answered his smile with one of my own. "You should smile more often. A few fangirls might actually drop dead."

A stunned Nara slapped the desk, laughing at Sasuke's suddenly contemplative gaze.

A hard pounding drew us back to the window. I blinked at the scene. Several of the younger girls were in leaning into each other, looking faint, and a few others were flipping me off, screaming their love for the Uchiha a new.

"I will never understand fangirl mentality. Don't they have lives?"

"One would think," Shikamaru grumbled at the same time Sasuke snapped, "No."

"I see…" I drawled, glancing back at my half finished review. "Can't say I have any ideas on how to get rid of them. You're welcome to stay here though."

The dark haired ninja sneered at the girls one last time before dropping the curtain back down. "We will."

The announcement was met with a shrug from the Nara. I saved what I was working on, eyeing the two boys. I still couldn't believe we'd become friends. After all, I usually shunned all things male and these two were certainly not girlie. Okay, Sasuke was pretty, but you know what I mean. I found I had a lot in common with them. Shika and I liked to use our brains and were pretty easy-going about stuff, even if he denied it with how often he used the word troublesome. Sasuke and I seemed to connect on the mutual understanding that we didn't need the other but it was nice to have someone who accepted the other for what we currently are, not what we used to be. I think he also sensed the darkness in my past—kindred soul thing.

It was like two—well, really, three—magnets inevitable coming together.

We just clicked. And strangely, I knew the three of us would give our lives for the other. I wasn't sure who was more surprised about that realization, Sasuke or Shikamaru. After all, the two had been enemies for most of their teen years. I still don't think they would have gotten along, I weren't here to glue us together.

"You can't go in there!" A shout—Kimi's—rang through the building. I sat up, brows pulled in confusion. Was it a fangirl? I glanced to my friends for information, hoping they might sense the intruders chakra signature, but each wore an unreadable look. Did they know the person, then? Or were they mentally preparing themselves to battle the intruder?

"I want to speak with the person in charge," a dark, velvety voice demanded. I shuddered, not from fear, but from how much I actually liked it. The thought made me feel queasy.

"I already _told_ you. I don't care who you are or if the village is in flames! You can not see Ito-san without an appointment."

"And I _told _you, this—this garbage needs to be retracted immediately."

The three of us shared a look. This was the first time I'd ever heard of someone being disgruntled enough about a review to complain in person. They usual sent lengthy letters. Besides, I highly doubted, whoever wrote the review, put out 'garbage'. President Ito read the entire magazine before it hit the press to avoid just that.

"We do not print garbage. We print opinions. If you have a problem with one of them, don't read the review." The receptionist stated with finality. Mentally, I applauded.

"Damn, she'd good." Shikamaru murmured, tone appreciative.

"Hn."

"Other people are going to read this…this lie." The male voice drawled darkly. The lazy tone sounded familiar. "I won't have it. It's an insult to the his memory."

A burning, heavy feeling coiled in the pit of my stomach. _No, no…please don't be...!_

From the corner of my eye, I saw Sasuke roll his eyes, mouthing the words I really didn't want to hear. "Kaka-baka."

My forehead immediately connected with the desk. _Seriously?! _Never in a million, bagillion years would I have thought the Kakashi Hatake, Copier of a Thousand Jutsus, would be upset about a negative _Icha Icha_ review.

Okay, maybe disgruntled, but not enough to complain in person!

"Seriously?" I half-squeaked aloud.

A low chuckle across from me brought my chin to the desk's smooth surface and my eyes to the amused Nara. "This is going to be interesting."

I opened my mouth to bit his head off, but the words died as the conflict in the lobby escalated.

"I said you can't go in there!" Kimi cried rather shrilly.

The ninjas in the room tensed, eyes widening slightly.

Ito-san's voice boomed down the hall, "What the hell is going on?"

Heavy footsteps followed.

Moving before I even realized it, I was out the door of my office and down the hall to reception, Shikamaru and Sasuke following hot on my heels. My jaw dropped at the sight I saw. Kimi stood fuming and red faced behind the glassed front desk. She was gesturing wildly to the salt and pepper haired Ito-san, talking frantically. Today's black suit looked crinkled form hours of sitting, but the president's tall figure stood straight, attempting to look down his nose at the other occupant in the room—a shinobi in his thirties.

I took in the standard attire with calf bandages and fingerless, metal plated gloves. Hair, a silver white, defied gravity and leaned to one side. A blue mask covered the lower half of his face and the forehead protector was slanted to hide one eye—the infamous quarter face thousands loved.

_Kakashi Hatake, _I mused, feeling both at once excited and stupefied.

I was finally meeting him but he was…off. Instead of his usual lazy air, he fairly crackled with barely contained electricity. The hairs on my arms stood at the charged air enveloping the room. The single, onyx eye burned as it narrowed with displeasure, a new expression for my fangirl self to ponder after I understood more about what was going on.

Apparently not noticing the three of us entered the scene, he moved with slow, deadly purpose. Steps soundless and lean muscles tensed. Eye never wavering from the man before him. He was in full predator mode and I suddenly understood what it meant to be an assassin. I shivered, both in fear and something else I was _never_ going to examine.

"What is the meaning of this?" he said, his droned voice mismatching his body language and actions as he let a bound copy of our magazine fall to the ground between them.

Ito-san's face took on a steely quality as he glanced at the rumpled pile of bound paper. It was a bit surprising since I'd only ever sensed warmth and kindness from the man. However, it made sense. One didn't become a top businessman without some ruthlessness.

"Meaning of what?"

"The D rating for _Icha Icha Violence_. It's preposterous," The jonin stated, attempting a casual shrug of his shoulders. It only ended up looking like a muscle spasm.

"How so? Opinions were backed up examples and the wording wasn't malicious. If anything, the reviewer seemed reluctant to have to say what they did."

"Such a negative review will discourage readers and one of our Sannin's greatest legacy's will fade to obscurity."

_Look underneath the underneath. _The famous words drifted across my consciousness at the words. Immediately, I understood what Kakashi was saying. Icha Icha was one of the few links he had left with the happy times of his life. If a negative review decreased the production of the book and turned readers away, in the Copy Nin's mind, it would equate with the incredible Toad Sage being forgotten. Even if I knew where he was coming from, I was still pretty miffed he'd called a review I'd worked so hard on—_agonized_ over—trash.

"I demand you retract it."

Ito-san stiffened. I knew for a fact he prided himself on never having to make a correction to one of their published works before. To have the ninja demand such a thing would hurt his pride.

"Now you listen good," my boss bellowed, surprisingly loud for such a easy going man, Do not think for one minute that just because you are a ninja, we will cater to your demands. If you continue wight his, I will have to speak to the Hokage!"

The threat rolled off the lanky man like oil in water.

I sighed, wondering just what I was going to do about the situation—because there was no doubt in my mind, it was my responsibility to fix it. After all, I'd written the review. I really didn't want to get Tsunade involved. She'd see both sides of the argument and the situation could get sticky. Ito-san's path led to _way _too much drama. But what else could I do?

Suddenly, an idea stuck. One so awesome, so full of so much _fun, _I nearly squealed like one of those idiotic fangirls. I was so glad I controlled that impulse. It would be damn embarrassing. However, I couldn't stop the grin that climbed my face. To the side of me, I heard Shikamaru groan. "Not that look. This is going to be more than simply troublesome."

"Hn."

Ignoring the peanut gallery, I stepped from our position at the door leading to the offices and into the lobby. Instantly, all eyes latched on the newcomer. Fighting the sudden urge to wrap myself in my dark curtain of hair, I pushed my shoulders back and met the ebony eye of one of my favorite people in fiction. Puzzlement broke past the hardened anger for an instant before he seemed to dismiss me.

I bit my inner cheek to keep from swearing a blue streak. I really hated how much my appearance warranted the attention of an unruly child. It was so freakin' unfair.

Assembling a calm exterior, I cut through the beginnings of another argument between the two men. "Ito-san only looks at reviews based on quality before he prints them. I'd think it would be more important to speak to the writer of the review. After all, they'd be the one to write the retraction. Ito-san just prints it."

The brief silence that followed was broken by a groan. Eyes snapped to the two jonin hovering in the door.

"Sasuke? Shikamaru?" Kakashi's deep timber vibrated from his chest, questions clear in the exposed part of his face. Purposefully clear. Man was the guy good at controlling and manipulating the emotions he showed. Well, except when it came to Icha Icha apparently. Probably came from the multiple masks he wore, both physical and mental. The man was the embodiment of the word enigma.

"Kakashi," the Nara drawled, hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked bored, the complete opposite of Sasuke. The raven haired man's gaze flickered between his sensei and I, a feral grin and anticipatory gleam in his gaze. I shuddered. _That _was not an expression one ever wanted to see on an emotionless Uchiha. It spelled DOOM, capital letters necessary.

Kakashi must have had the same thought because he actually shifted the weight to the back of his feet, seeming prepared to flee. This from a man who'd face down Biju without even blinking. He cleared his throat, and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting," the Uchiha said, smile deepening.

I shot him a dark look. All that excitement would go to waste if he didn't shut up and let me play. Before Kakashi could continue his inquiry, I drew his attention again. "So do you know who you have to speak to?"

The silver haired man frowned in my direction—I don't know how he did it with that mask, but I could just tell. "An Andrea Thompson." His controlled anger returned, tensing his tall, lean body ram rod straight. "Where is she?"

Ito-san and Kimi shot me confused glances. Ignoring them, I tapped my foot, a bit flattered he hadn't needed to look it up. I'd managed to get under his skin and I was sadisticly proud of that.

"She _was _in her office, working on a review."

The jonin clenched the fists at his sides. Shikamaru started to mutter something about the end of the world. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He could be so dramatic.

"And where is she now?"

"Right here," I grinned impishly, pointing to myself.

Silence ensued. Kakashi looked me over again, clear disbelief in his eyes. "Your ten. You're not even allowed to read _Icha Icha_ yet."

"Like that ever stopped anyone," I mutter, thinking about Naruto and the many free books he'd claimed to have given his male friends. I'd be willing to bet the male half of the Konoha Eleven had had one hidden under their beds by the age of fifteen.

"I'm eighteen, oh great genius of shinobi."

His usually lazy eye narrowed at the sarcasm. I didn't care. The age things was _really_ starting to tick me off. Before he could demand some sort of proof, I took out the ID I'd taken to carrying in my back pocket and handed it over. It was so much easier than trying to convince someone.

The jonin looked at it, glancing at me and then back to the small square of paper. He repeated the process several times before shoving it toward me, obviously disgruntled. Just like when I'd given it to him, I focused on avoiding contact. Having him in my bubble was already giving me a headache.

Sure I'd gotten a bit better about personal space from hanging around Sasuke and Shikamaru, but my bubble around those two had merely shrunken to the size of a normal, non-touchy feel-y type of person. And it was just around those two. Naruto still freaked me out. Probably because he attempted to give me a bone crushing hug every time he saw me. At least, my doges had gone up a skill level.

I'm sure he noted how careful I was. Even a civilian would make note. However, I'd stopped caring what others thought of me exactly two years ago.

"You really are Andrea Thompson?"

"Yup," I replied, popping the p.

He fell silent, his dark eye, richer in pigment than even Sasuke's, examining every inch of my frame. I shifted on my feet, starting to feel uncomfortable under such scrutiny. And then suddenly, it stopped, replaced by something in my face. I blinked at the glossy surface, realizing he'd somehow used ninja speed to grab the crumpled bundle of paper on the floor, open it to the right page, and shove it in my face. A slender finger tip, left uncovered by his metal-plated gloves, tapped sharply in the exact place of my first D review. "Retract it."

Meeting his beautiful onyx eye, I smirked, "Fuck no."

His eye widened, subtly flinching at the blunt words. My lips thinned in an effort to hold back a full blown smile. If that's how he was going to react to everything, this was going to be fucking hysterical. I glanced at my co-workers, amused by the blatant horror on their faces. Then my gaze shifted to my friends. Shikamaru was slumped against the glassed reception desk, looking resigned and intrigued. Sasuke's face was carefully blank, but the around him practically quivered with barely restrained excitement and amusement. They were clearly expecting a good show, and I didn't want to disappoint.

Hatake leaned forward again, even closer into my space. I gritted her teeth and willed myself not to react. I'd loose the upper hand if I did.

His voice was almost a growl, reminding me of the dog summons he controlled. Anger dripped from him for the first time since I'd seen him. "Retract. It."

"Make me, Kakashi Hatake."

* * *

Hey guys! So it **really, really** pains me that I had to think about this, let alone type it, but I'm going to have to temporarily reduce my updates to once a week. Some stuff happened (I dislike sob stories so I will not be sharing it here) and I'm going to be distracted for a few weeks. Therefore, I won't be able to write new chapters and can only post what I already have done.

It's the only way I can avoid a hiatus. And I HATE those with a burning passion, especially when I get into a good story. I don't think it would be fair to do that to you guys. You're all absolutely amazing and so supportive of my writing. So slower updates is the only solution.

Thank you for understanding and see you next Tuesday EST.

-Red

P.S. A secret fear of mine is making the Naruto characters too OOC, so if you guys think that's happening, let me know so I can fix it! Thanks.


	12. Chapter 12

**I AM SO SORRY!**

I know I missed an update last week. Life got crazy and I couldn't do one. And not only am I not allowed I guess, it also felt wrong to post something acknowledging that, which would have made you all think it was a chapter update. Again! SO SORRY.

Adding to my list of Pretty Cool Reviewers: **kaydub**, **Guest (x2)**, **Kuro Chai**, **Winter's Folly**, **TwilightEclps**, **camach**, **Wolf**, and **Mizuki Kyuuji**

(If I forget you, please PM me! I want to make sure you're mentioned for taking the time to review.)

Chapter dedicated to Wolf, for the extra push to get this out. It's still Tuesday, lol. ;)

* * *

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Naruto or the characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. I DO own Andy, Emily, and the plot.

Rated M for swearing, violence, and eventual lemons.

* * *

When I first meet someone, I could forgive many things—after all, my eccentricities weren't always apparent right off the bat. So when Hatake invaded my rather large personal bubble, I could semi-deal with it. When he touched me, I actually managed not to throw up. The kunai at my throat? Yeah…not so much.

Seriously. What was it with ninjas and my neck?

Oh, I knew he wouldn't _actually _hurt me. I was a civilian, for one. And I was a Konoha resident, for another. He didn't go through all that crazy shit protecting the village, just to off some civilian who trashes one of his favorite books. Everyone else in the room knew it too. Didn't stop Sasuke's _livid—_yes, he _had_ a facial expression, ladies and gentlemen—glare in his former sensei's direction. Or the lazy Shikamaru from actually straightening up, and a hand drifting toward his weapon pouch.

Safe to say, the tension could have been cut with a kunai, it felt so thick.

Also felt a lot of love which was something I hadn't had a lot of in my life. Boy, did I enjoy it. Totally worth pissing off a powerful ninja.

Still, the touching thing? As much as I liked his voice, and even the fresh air and burnt wood scent clinging to his clothes, I couldn't tolerate the contact. My skin felt clammy and I was clenching my teeth so hard, I thought they'd crack. He smelled nothing like lust, blood, or alcohol, and yet that horrid mix was hovering just in the back of my mouth—the memories threatening to swirl to the forefront of my mind. I couldn't have that. Break downs were only allowed at night, with only the moon's light as witness.

"Move the hand," I hissed, trying to keep control. Forcing a lightness to my voice, I said, "Pervert-itis is catching."

I'm pretty sure I fooled no one. Ninja were nothing if not observant. The man positioned behind me moved quickly to his previous position before me, well outside my bubble. He was back to that lazy pose of his, but the onyx eye gave everything away—confusion, speculation, suspicion. He'd probably piece together my major issues within one or two more meetings.

And I really didn't like that. As much as I was coming to like Konoha, it was a bitch that half the population ferreted out secrets for a living. I like my to remain just that—a secret.

"I'll ask you again," he drawled, kunai spinning as a subtle threat around his index finger, "Retract the review."

I squared my shoulders, and looked him in the eye. I made sure every bit of stubbornness, determination, and disgust showed on my face. "Why? I gave an honest opinion and if you can't handle it, don't read the reviews! I won't tolerate you waltz in here announcing the review is trash—acting as if my words are lesser than yours. It's your behavior that's trash, Hatake. " I barked, my temper getting away from me, "You think I'll do what every you want because of that kunai? Because you threaten violence? Guess what, buddy, I've been through worse. You can bully me all you want, but I will not compromise myself simply because someone, ninja or civilian, said to."

The man stiffened, his eye narrowing on me.

Then, as if some sort of spell—or maybe even a genjutsu—was broken, a long sigh escaped the Copy Nin. His shoulders slumped forward and his spine bowed, shifting weight onto his hips in a lazy slouch. Kunai disappeared and _Icha Icha Tactics_ popped out.

I eyed him wearily. He was such an odd guy.

"Mah…seems I went overboard."

I blinked. And a mystery—an infuriating mystery.

Was that seriously all he had to say after he pulled a weapon on me? Oh, he was so screwed.

I saw Ito-san stiffen beside Miki, looking like he was going to tear the ninja a new one. This side to the owner of _The Book Buyer's Guide_ was really interesting.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" he shouted, making the windows rattle.

A lazy, onyx eye drifted to the older man. The shoulder holding Icha Icha lifted slightly, before he fixed his gaze back to me. "I will convince you to retract it, Andrea Thompson. Count on it."

And with that, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke and leaves.

That's when Ito-san lost it. He started shouting up a storm at how positively infuriating and pushy ninjas were. Miki looked panicked and seemed to be doing everything she could think of to calm him down.

Ignoring the scene, I turned to my tense friends with a dark laugh. Hatake was going to learn a thing or two about me in the next week and they weren't going to be pleasant. I'd spent years surviving difficult situation since my dad's murder and I was going to put all that brain power to use—if a bit creatively.

Shikamaru gave me a long measure look before slumping in resignation.

"So?" Sasuke asked, looking for their next step. The raven haired man was positively shaking with excitement.

Adopting a lazy slouch of my own, I asked, "When does the new _Icha Icha Tactics_, _Unedited_ version come out?"

Shikamaru groaned.

* * *

What does one get when you mix a former prank master, the commander of the Konoha forces, and an ex-missing nin?

The best minions.

Ever.

They'd made all my plans possibly in the past two days and were extremely eager about it. I'm sure if Sasuke, Naruto, and Shikamaru didn't have to carry out their portion of the plan right about now, they'd be seated right next to me, watching the finale. Instead, my newest friends, Sai and Anko Mitarashi, kept me company while I waited at the dango shop across the street from Safe Words Excite Me, an erotica bookstore located furthest from Kakashi Hatake's apartment.

Yeah, not the best name for a store.

"You're right, Anko." I said, bitting into the sweet ball, "This is killer dango."

"Shut it, squirt. I'm only here for the gossip."

Okay, so maybe not _exactly _friends.

I felt Sai's intense gaze so I looked over my shoulder. The pale man already had his sketch pad on the table and ink uncovered. A delicate brush at the ready.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure this is going to work, Midget?"

My eye twitched and teeth clenched. I _hated _that nickname. I had to keep reminding myself it was just how Sai operated.

"Of course," I forced, tapping my temple, "I've got it all worked out, Casper."

Sai never blinked at my nickname for him. Possibly because he didn't get the reference. It was _so_ unfair.

"If it does, I'm recruiting you to T&I." Anko grumbled as she inhaled a stick of sweets. The corners of Sai's mouth twitched, the only indication he disliked the food they were eating.

I snorted at the snake summoner's comment, "I already work _way _closer to that building than I ever wanted to be again in my lifetime."

A feral grin slipped across her features between bites of food. "What _did_ you get hauled in for?"

Shrugging, I didn't bother to elaborate. The question only confirmed several things I'd already suspected. The first of which, that Anko had done a background check on me. I'd have been disappointed if she hadn't after I'd recruited her for my devious plan. Here I was, approaching one of Konoha's major gossips for help in a potentially damaging event to one of their ninja. She _should _check me out.

Her question also addressed the niggling worry I'd had over what she would be able to find out. Anko was second-in-command over at the Torture unit, meaning she'd have access to several high class secrets. The fact she couldn't discover what was discussed during my "interview" eased some of my fears. The information was classified higher than her pay grade, meaning it would be harder for spies and enemy ninja to use against me, Emily, or Konoha.

"Fine, don't share," the purple haired woman huffed, returning to munching. She could seriously pack that shit away.

Sai's head tilted curiously, "What about the Hokage? She's going to be pissed."

I smirked, thinking back to yesterday afternoon.

* * *

"_You're trying to bribe the Hokage—one of the most powerful ninjas in the Five Great Nations?"_

"_Yup!" I announced cheekily, popping the p._

_Said Hokage considered me with careful, honey eyes. Her gaze briefly flicked down to the black, ceramic bottle positioned in the center of her desk. The words "Onyx Cut" were proudly display in white kanji down the side. _

"_And you discovered my favorite brand of sake, how exactly?"_

"_Naruto. Or Sakura, really. The blonde did the asking and reporting."_

_Tsunade shot me another assessing look before her hand snaked out to grab it. I moved at the same time, stopping her from bring the expensive sake any closer. Leaning slightly over the desk, I gave her my best calculating smile, "Do we have a deal?"_

_She took one last look at the bottle and me before nodding. "Consider me bribed."_

* * *

"She's been taken care of," I almost cooed in triumph.

Anko eyed me speculatively, the usual glint of insanity gone. Her mind was working effectively and I wasn't sure I liked that. It really couldn't bode well.

The sound of running footsteps and rustling fabric echoed through the early morning air. Frantic mutterings and periodic swears quickly followed.

Grinning, I leaned forward in my seat at one of the picnic table-like seating arrangements, looking down the virtually empty street. Civilians were hardly awake yet, let alone moving about the village this early. However, it was late enough for bookstores to be open.

Specifically erotica bookstores stocking their shelves with the newest edition of _Icha Icha Tactics_.

The sounds were steadily growing louder, and increasing in level of desperation.

"This is the last store. They better still have a copy!" A familiar deep voice growled.

Anko and Sai exchanged a look before mirroring my eager position.

"Get ready." I murmured, "Here he comes."

* * *

"Sharingan" Kakashi Hatake, Copier of a Thousand Jutsus, had survived many things in his life. He'd managed to live through two Great Wars. He'd somehow stayed sane through the countless losses of close friends and family. He'd even kept breathing through a fight with Bijus. By his count, he should have been dead over 159 times already.

He never thought he'd encounter the 160th time in the very streets of the home he'd fought so hard to protect.

And, well, this time…He really, _really_ didn't think he was going to make it.

It all started at 5:49 am. His alarm had gone off and for the first time in a long while, he didn't hit the snooze button. He'd actually gotten up and _rushed_ to get ready. There was no way he was going to be late for the 6am opening of Whips and Words, the erotica specializing bookstore near his home. They had everything his inner pervert could dream of. And, as of today, they now had _Icha Icha Tactics, Unedited. _

A shiver ran up his spine. Kakashi couldn't wait to get his hands on it. And then, after he'd read it six times…he'd deal with that Andrea woman's horrid review.

He still had trouble thinking someone so tiny and drowning in her own clothing was eighteen. However, the way she moved, talked, how she'd met his eyes, all spoke of an incredible maturity—a maturity that had been forced upon her.

Kakashi could admit he'd gone a _smidgen _over board. He just had trouble believing someone who'd enjoyed the first novel so much, couldn't like the second. It was blasphemous, unheard of.

Perhaps he'd apologize for the kunai after she retracted the review.

Glancing at the clock, he saw it was exactly 5:59. Pushing all thoughts of the small woman and horrible review from his mind, he shunshined to Whips and Words. The excitement coursing through his veins, thrumming his heart, had lasted all of two minutes. The owner, a nice older man by the name of Ginko, had promptly informed him upon arrival that all copies of _Icha Icha Tactics, Unedited_ had been purchased already.

Kakashi had stopped breathing and glanced frantically at the clock. It was only 6:02 in the morning. Fighting to keep his calm and lazy visage, he'd thanked the man, pausing only a moment outside the store, before taking off like a bat out of hell. He _had _to get to the next erotica specializing bookstore.

Then, to his continued horror, he didn't even take a step inside before he was given the same exact news. It couldn't be possible. As much as he loved _Icha Ich_a and thought everyone should too, he knew it wasn't _that _popular.

Clutching his old copy of _Icha Icha Tactics_ in his hands, he decided to take drastic measure. Making Shadow Clones, four copies of himself had dashed off to the other bookstores known to carry Jiraiya's work while he run toward the fifth. And as he ran, his steps falter as each clones memoirs popped into his mind. They all confirmed his worst fear—the novel was sold out.

Pushing chakra into his muscles, he moved faster, passing through the nicer shopping and residential districts of Konoha and heading to the tougher areas. He just had to get a copy of that book. Kakashi didn't understand what was happening, nor why they were selling out within minutes of the store opening. The sheer number of the books vanishing from the shelves did not match up with the number of people circulating the village in the earlier hours. There weren't even any lines!

Within minutes, he saw the sign for the store: Safe Words Excite Me.

"This is the last store," he growled. "They better still have a copy!"

Kakashi wasn't even bothering to keep up his calm facade. He was desperate. Since he was on leave for two weeks, and not allowed out of the village until he finished his annual psych eval, he wouldn't be able to get a hold of a copy until the stores received another shipment. From experience, those shipments could take months. It was now, or almost never.

Gulping, he skidded to a stop. Slamming the door open, he raced to the counter, finding a middle aged man of portly proportions behind it. Almost as if he was waiting for him.

"Icha Icha Tactics, Unedited?" Kakashi felt like panting. He wasn't tired, but the sheer panic and distress shooting through his system prompted the urge. He needed to release the emotions somehow.

The man smiled kindly before saying two dreaded words, "Sold out."

Kakashi felt his knees weaken.

"Sold out," he echoed, grabbing the counter for support.

At the man's nod, the ninja deflated. What was he going to do? He'd waited months for this release. And now…

No Icha Icha.

Moving on auto pilot, he thanked the man and left the store, the dim sound of a ringing bell bouncing overhead. Kakashi stared unseeing as he stepped out onto the street, mind filled with the lack of Icha Icha.

"Kakashi Hatake," a vaguely familiar voice called.

Refocusing, the grey haired ninja laid eye on the tiny, foreigner woman named Andrea Thompson. She was smirking, and oddly enough, standing in front of a pile of books. He frowned as he observed a feral looking Anko and a furiously working Sai, the pale man's hand moving an ink brush over blank parchment.

Suspicion crept up his spine. Fingers twitching, he followed Andrea's movements. Fishing inside her sweatshirt pocket, she withdrew a square pack of matches. With a swift movement, she grated the red tip over the special paper. Fire ignited. Dawning dread drew his gaze to the pile of books. Slower than he'd ever experienced in his life, his brain connected the green cover and white crouching figure with the events of the morning.

"No," he whispered, voice thick with horror as the match fell. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe as the hundred plus precious copies of _Icha Icha Tactics, Unedited_ went up in flames. "NO!"

Finally moving, his hands went through the rapid sequence of a suiton. However, even as he released his chakra, he knew he'd be too late to save the novels. "Water Release: Gunshot."

The fire extinguished, but the half charred books were now waterlogged. Anger he'd felt upon seeing the review of _Icha Icha Violence_ roared to life. Snapping his gaze to the dark haired woman, he growled, feeling more like his animal summons than a man.

"What did you do?" he snapped, trying to assemble his usually relaxed exterior.

"Insulting me and putting a kunai to my neck isn't very nice, Hatake-san."

Her chastising tone rankled. How dare she treat _him_ like a child?

"And that review is an insult to the Toad Sannin." He forced himself drop his shoulders and drawl the words.

"But it was an honest opinion, not meant to cause any offense."

"Obviously it has."

The woman shrugged, "Then you're too sensitive."

His jaw clenched. Narrowed eye slipped to the riveted Anko and working Sai.

"What are they here for?"

The red eyed woman's smirk grew. "Parts two and three of the plan."

That made Kakashi blink. "Excuse me?"

The foreigner snapped her fingers. Suddenly, two of his former students and Shikamaru appeared beside her. Sasuke was smirking like a mad man while Naruto grinned like a Chesire cat. Shikamaru sighed, throwing a sealing scroll to the woman.

"Part Two," she announced, pulling open the scroll and letting Naruto push some of his chakra into the ink. With a loud pop, several solid thumps echoed in the still empty street as the scroll released it's objects—HIS _entire_ collection of Icha Icha.

"How…!" he cried, unable to believe what was before him. His apartment was booby-trapped to the hilt. Not to mention he kept all but the book he was readying in a special safe hidden in his bedroom wall. Said safe was heavily guarded with seals of all kinds—from fire protection to theft.

Shikamaru shrugged, "I wasn't really that hard, Kakashi, and Naruto's surprisingly good with seals."

Swallowing against a new wave of panic, he glanced from the ruined pile of books to his own collection beside it. He knew their fate if he didn't agree to what the woman-child wanted.

"And the new releases?"

"Sasuke and Naruto's Shadow Clones," the vile woman replied.

Gritting his teeth, he again glanced between the ruined books and his own. "What do you want?"

"Swear upon everything you hold dear that you'll back off about the review."

He stiffened. The damn…damn _chibi _had him by the balls. It was either a review retraction or the books he'd spent his entire life collecting.

Inhaling deeply through his nose, he let the air out in an audible exhale. Kakashi had no choice. "Fine." Letting the weight of his words seep into his voice, he swore, "I swear upon all the names carved into the Memorial Stone, that I, Kakashi Hatake, will no longer say another word about, or threaten with bodily harm on behalf of, a retraction for the Icha Icha Violence review written by Andrea Thompson."

"Excellent," the Chibi Devil grinned. Turning to her collection of friends, she said, "Everyone heard that and willing to serve as witnesses?"

Anko and Sasuke grinned maniacally, immediately agreeing. Sai and Shikamaru nodded wordlessly. Naruto bounced on his feet, "I did, I will!"

Kakashi relaxed a bit, knowing his books were safe. He made a mental note to redo the safe's seals and all the traps in his apartment after he dealt with the scheming woman in front of him.

"And now for part three!" she proclaimed. Kakashi's senses spiked. He'd foolishly forgotten her mention of another part. Not getting his hands on _Icha Icha Tactcis, Unedited_ was seriously throwing him off his game.

The wide, bright smile shot his way, screaming of false cheer, made him shiver. This was not good, he decided. Hyper alert, the jonin watched her every move. With aching slowness, obviously aware of his gaze, she reached behind her and pulled a single green novel from the back of her pants.

He felt his knees give out as he read the title from afar: _Icha Icha Tactcis, Unedited Special Edition. _

"This," the Chibi Devil smirked, "is the last copy in the village, and surrounding towns, until Christmas."

_Christmas? _Kakashi could hardly breathe at the sight of his beloved book. Kami, he didn't think he could take it if she burned that one in front of him. He'd fail his psych eval, that's for sure. And just how the _hell_ did she manage to get the books from around Konoha as well?

Dimly, he realized this foreigner could give Ibiki Morino a run for his money with her torture techniques and sadism. Anko apparently thought so too because she started cackling like a hyena around a stick of dango.

Kakashi hoped she chocked on it.

Forcing himself to think straight, he asked, "And what do I have to swear, or do, to get that?"

"Nothing," she sang.

"Nothing?" he repeated, confusion coming back in waves. She was not the type of person to do something for free.

"Nope. Because…" she trailed, turning to Naruto. His former student sent him a mischievous grin before opening another scroll. On it, Kakashi noticed a blood seal. Moving faster than he'd done the last time Kakashi saw him use fuinjutsu, Naruto sealed the novel inside with a drop of the Chibi Devil's blood. Turning back to him with the scroll taping against her shoulder, she finished, "…I'm keeping this just to watch you squirm."

He felt his jaw drop behind his mask. "What?"

"I guess you could also call it insurance, incase you have an objection to something else I write and or do, but I'm going with that fact it is so much more _fun _having you know I posses the _only_ copy of _Icha Icha Tactic, Unedited_ for _miles_."

"Miles?"

"I'm talking trip to Suna far, Hatake."

He groaned. That was three days travel. And he couldn't go until the psych eval was done. That meant a minimum of two weeks before he could even _think _about getting his hands on a copy.

Physical force was out. Not only had it gotten him into all this trouble in the first place, but she was a civilian, and a woman—no matter how vile. He could never actually hurt someone like her unless it was for the safety of the village. She was also friends with his students. He didn't wish to hurt them by hurting the Chibi Devil.

Mental force was out for the same reasons. He knew something was off about the way she reacted to his closeness and how the boys were always carefully not to touch her directly. He had his guesses, but he didn't like to jump to conclusions too often.

Last tactic was negotiation. Lifting to his feet and forcing himself to adopt his typical, relaxed demeanor again, he said, "And what if I said I would owe you a favor, of any kind, if you gave that to me?"

"A favor, you say?" She looked contemplative.

Hope sprung forth within him, but he kept cool. "All you'd have to do is hand over the book."

"That is an interesting idea," she murmured. Kakashi ignored their riveted audience, willing her to accept. He had no doubt this entire interaction would be known by everyone in the village before noon—especially if Anko knew and Sai was drawing snapshots. Which he had a feeling was the point behind there presence. Apparenlty, this Andrea woman knew had a plethora of information on Konoha nin, and how to use them to her advantage. He didn't like it. He didn't think it was safe.

Kakashi made another mental note to speak with Tsunade-sama about it once this issue was resolved. Hopefully, favorable for everyone. He got the book and she kept her review. The calculating smile spreading across her pink lips didn't bode well though. She had the upper hand after all, and she knew it.

"I'll think about it, Copy-Cat. See you!"

_Copy-Cat? Copy-Cat! _Of all the things… Grinding his teeth, he yelled after her disappearing form, "Chibi Devil!"

A sick satisfaction spread through him as he saw her miss a step. He swore then and there, as she left and her companions dispersed, this wasn't over.

She may have won the battle, but Kakashi would be damn sure he won the war.

* * *

I hope you guys enjoyed! What did you think of Kakashi? Of Andy's deviousness? Honest opinions, please. Remember, I'm afraid of getting too OCC.

And thank you _**so**_ much for all the lovely reviews and encouragement! I swear I won't drop this story.

-Red

P.S. I apologize for any mistakes. I just really wanted to get this to you guys!


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